The eye in the back of my head
Yep, for the longest time, I had an eye in the back of my head that opened when they were in the backseat of the car. It could see everything. And it bugged the hell out of them.
The little song - "Have Patience"
"Have patience, Have patience, Don’t be in such a hurry. When you get impatient, you only start to worry. Remember, Remember that God is patient to, so think of all the times when others have to wait for you."
They hated this!!! They still hate it!!! Ahh, it is so much fun just to start it and watch the steam roll out.
Do you have...?
Your jacket, your gloves, your science paper, your lunch money...
Since they decided they didn't need me standing at the door for goodbye kisses and reminders - I started just staying in bed. I think the oldest was 9 and the little one in kindergarten.
Coffee breath
Yea, at some point, after putting up with spit up, puke (in my hands), dirty diapers, bloody knees, and so forth -- one of them has the audacity to tell me I have coffee breath. It was probably the daughter. After that I made it a point to get in her face and talk using breathy words like 'how' and 'what'. What fun times!!
The dinner war
They had to, imagine this, eat what they were served. No extra chicken nuggets were cooked for the kids in our house. If they didn't eat it at the table, the plate when on the counter and when the hungry kid asked for food, the plate was put in front of them. "But, I wanted ice cream now..." Ha! Not gonna happen until the plate is cleaner than it is now. Man, those were the days...
Is there really a Santa Claus?
Just seven words: If you don't believe, you won't receive. Period. End of discussion. Actually the son never asked. He knew a good gig when he saw it. The daughter asked every damn year and I got tired of creative answers. So it boiled down to the above. Still does, actually.
Underpants on their head
There was a DJ in Phoenix for a while, Jonathan Brandmeier, he moved on to Chicago. I don't remember the context, but he had a bit where there was tighty whiteys on someones head. So, Dad would have the kids put clean gunders on their heads. We have pictures - too funny!! I wonder if they would do it now.
Threatening the "bucket head" picture
This always gets the daughter. A picture of her at about 20 months sitting in her little oak rocker with nothing on but a bucket atop her head. Just mention the picture, much less displaying it, and she has a hissy fit.
Wow, those were the good old days...
And I miss 'em - NOT! Half grown up kids are so much more fun. They can hold an intelligent conversation, they can drive when you have been drinking, they can write checks so you don't have to go to the grocery store, they can take care of you in your old age. Hmmm, maybe I'd better lay off the "bucket head" threat.
OnMyList
List your pants off!