Baseball
Cons: Lots of standing around not doing anything. Some pretty fat looking players. (Hey, I'm fat and can stand around. Pay me a million a year.) Spitting, lots of spitting. Pros: Fabulous, awe-inspiring catches. Watching guys dive into the earth face first. Long, accurate throws. Lots of standing around (so you don't feel guilty talking a lot and drinking beer). Relatively simple rules.
Football
Cons: The plays go so quick who can tell what happened. Reeaallly fat players. Too popular, not fun to like something everybody likes. Too much time in between plays. Pros: Learning the technique and strategy behind the madness the plays appear to be. (Read "Blind Side" by Michael Lewis.) Some awesome physical specimens. So macho. Crazy macho.
Tennis
Cons: I cannot retain the scoring system. Mysteriously boring (to me. Seems like something I should like but I can't get into it.) Players often seem like prima donnas (in a not fun way). Pros: Love the ball persons skittering around. Seems pretty civilized.
Basketball
Cons: Really big prima donnas. Lots of laziness and cheating and poor sportsmanship (at the pro level). Still can't tell when someone is traveling or not. So much going on it can be tiresome to follow. Pros: So much going on it gets exciting. College ball. Nash, Iverson, Garnett, Lebron...
Golf
Cons: Slow. Rich and waspy. People yelling "Get in the hole!". (How stupid is that?) Pros: Very meditative. Orderly, civilized. Don't have to pay too much attention a lot of the time. (Good for socializing.) Mysterious how everyone's movements are pretty much the same to the untrained eye but the results are so different.
Mixed Martial Arts
Cons: Blood. Pre-fight taunting speeches (often sound fake and forced). Pros: Lots of variety with which skills are used in any given fight. Fairly quick. It's entertaining to see the devices used to make it seem macho (octagon girls, loud metal) for a sport that is mostly half-naked guys hugging each other.
Hockey
Cons: Blood. The possibility of someone's teeth getting knocked out. Pros: Fast action. Apparently approved fighting. Mind boggling that the players can zip around with such agility in bulky uniforms and be so accurate in grabbing and shooting the puck.
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