Jezebel Monday, March 10, 2008

Rachel Does Marilyn; Rebecca Blows Smoke; Ryan Runs Stairs [Snap Judgments (weekend Edition)]
Welcome back to the Monday morning edition of Snap Judgment, in which we publish the celebrity snaps that came in over the earlier part of the weekend. Inside: Rachel Bilson, Ryan Phillippe, Rebecca... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Sienna Miller & Rhys Ifans To Wed; Kimora Knocked Up? [Dirt Bag]
Sienna Miller has reportedly finally agreed to marry Rhys Ifans -- after he asked a third time. Summer wedding, you guys. With guests like Kate Moss and Keira Knightley! [Mirror] Is Kimora Lee... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Celebrity Rehab: Chyna Finally Admits She "Might Just Be An Addict" [Clips]
newVideoPlayer("rehabfinale_jezebel.flv", 463, 387,""); Last night was the finale of Celebrity Rehab, and, after completing a full program, the celebs (minus Daniel Baldwin and Jeff Conaway, who both... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Amy Winehouse Gives Gang Signs [Snap Judgment]
[London, March 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Ba-Hawk Obama? Please God Just End This Campaign Already... [News Roundup]
Wyoming caucus tomorrow! Obama is expected to win. Because it's the home state of his distant cousin Dick Cheney? Nah, but I thought I'd use this bizarre picture anyway. [AP, Rolling Stone] I... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
DIY Porno [Porn]
For the aspiring film director, the Make Your Own Erotic Movie Game: Doctors and Nurses edition provides three scripts and set ups for people to make their own hospital-themed pornos. [Love Honey via... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
This Week Made Us Unbeweavably Tard [The Week That Was]
Racist Barbie-fondler Allison was kicked off America's Next Top Model. We were not sad to see her go. Moddels in Bahlinceeyagga looked tard. The white-washed runways at Paris fashion week made us... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Anthony Kiedis Lifts (Separates?) [Snap Judgment]
[Malibu, March 6. Image via x17] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Ousted Hot Obama Adviser Samantha Power's Advice On Love [Heroines]
In our free time we've been learning all we can about ousted Obama foreign policy adviser Samantha Power, so here you have it for your attempts at intelligent barroom conversation: she's a big... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Kate Bosworth Smiles While Being Stalked [Snap Judgment]
[Sydney, Australia; March 7. Image via Flynet] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Loose Lips []
People mag has its grubby mitts on the first photos of Jennifer Lopez's twin babies for a cool $6 million on two conditions: one, they are no longer allowed to call her J. Lo; two, Mark Anthony has... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Doesn't Anyone Write Like A Fucking Chick Anymore? [Fun New Procrastination Tools]
Gals. I gotta tell you about something. It's this new internet algorithm thingy, and it's taking over my life. You know how we're interested in the ways men and women write differently? Well this... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Tim Gunn: ∞; Victorya: 0 [The Greatest Show On Earth]
Is it possible to adore Project Runway's Tim Gunn any more? Absolutely. To wit: The PR judge on winner Christian Siriano, in an interview with the Chicago Tribune's "Watcher" blog: "This is an old... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
TGIF [Snap Judgment]
[Image via AP.] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Kim Kardashian Is A "Fat Bitch" Who "Thinks It's OK To Wear A Bikini" [Missdemeanors]
It's time for Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. What is wrong with these gossip bloggers, anyway? Were they all abused as... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Reader Roundup []
Best Comment of the Day, in response to Toccara Loses Weight And Her Mind On New Celebrity Fit Club: "Toccara vs. Sommora sounds like the title of a Japanese monster movie." We say: you know Mothra... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Commenter Executions: The Guillotine Has Fallen [Off With Their Heads]
This is it. The moment you've been waiting for. We're ridding ourselves of some commenters, and sending others to, well, the corner. [Ha! -Ed.] Names and offenses after the... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Planet In Peril [Global Crises]
Charity network ActionAid has published a report stating that women and girls are more likely to be poor, hungry, illiterate or sick than boys and men. In South Asia, while the economy grows, women... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Alanna: The First Adventure: For The Crossdressing Knight In Every Girl [Fine Lines]
Welcome to 'Fine Lines', the Friday feature in which we give a sentimental, sometimes-critical, far more wrinkled look at the children's and YA books we loved in our youth. Today, YA author, former... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Wentworth Miller Takes His Black [Snap Judgment]
[Los Angeles, March 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Will Arnett Makes A Sex Tape With "Mary-Kate Olsen" [Clips]
Will Arnett is seriously one of the funniest dudes on the face of the planet. In the clip above -- a sneak preview sketch from the new season of Human Giant, which premieres on March 11 -- he plays... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Christina Ricci: Big Purse, Little Pup [Snap Judgment]
[Los Angeles, March 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin.] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
The. Worst. Date. Ever., Brought To You By Glamour [Vagina Monoblogs]
We sort of dismissed Glamour "Man Needs Date" blogger, Mike "Edgy English Teacher" Cherico, early in his tenure as the type of jackass whose jackassiness was unworthy of analysis. It was too typical,... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Why does everyone give American Apparel CEO ... [American Apparel]
Why does everyone give American Apparel CEO Dov Charney such a hard time when all he does is buy coke and vibrators for his models in lieu of residuals and talk about porn? It is a puzzlement. In... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
ELLE: Not For Women Who Are Intimidated By Math! [Cover Lies]
NUMBERSSSS! Why all the GIGANTIC MEANINGLESS NUMBERS, women's magazines of the world? A theory: it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The readers love the big numbers! And so the magazine editors fill the... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Julianne Moore Decides To Cab It [Snap Judgment]
[New York, March 7. Image via Splash.] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Toccara Loses Weight And Her Mind On New Celebrity Fit Club [Clips]
newVideoPlayer("celebfitcamp_jezebel.flv", 463, 387,""); The new season of Celebrity Fit Club premieres March 13 and it looks awesome. This time around, four Fit Club veterans return (Toccara Jones,... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
What The Hell Is Courtney Love Doing? [Snap Judgment]
[Hollywood, March 6. Image via x17.] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Announcements [Meetup]
L.A. Jezebelles! There is a commenter drink thingy tonight, 9 p.m., at the Cat & Fiddle. Enjoy! (If you're wondering how to find out about events, join our Facebook group. Thanks.) [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
70s Feminist: "The Most Liberated Woman Is The Singleton" [Having It All]
Back in the 70s, Valerie Grove wrote a book called Compleat Woman, about 20 women who supposedly "had it all" -- more than three children, blossoming careers, stable marriages. (Grove said she chose... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Porn Ultimatums [Porn Problems]
Bret Stieghorst and James Van Iveren were in court this week. You see, last month, Stieghorst was just sittin' in his Oconomwoc, Wisconsin apartment, watchin' some porn and minding his own business... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Charlize Theron Digs Venetian Blinds [Snap Judgment]
[Hollywood, March 6. Image via Splash.] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Epic Calvin Klein Story Contains Secret To All Fashion, And Maybe Life [Vanity Projects]
Back in 2003, Calvin Klein went to a Knicks game so high he thought it would be a cool idea to get up and start chatting up the players. The only problem was, of course, that he was high, so he... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Naomi Watts Wears White In Australian Autumn [Snap Judgment]
100% Mambo! [Bondi Beach; Sydney; March 7. Image via Flynet] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Oldies But Goodies [Ad Libs]
Lord only knows what kind of "liquid" is inside the Defender, as seen in this ad from 1965, but whatever it is, it REPELS MAN OR BEAST. Maybe it's Hugh Hefner's new fragrance? [Vintage Ads] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day Is Fun But Forgettable [Critical Mass]
With an ELLE cover and a hit gown and spirited performance at the Oscars this year, there is no doubt that Amy Adams is currently America's Titian Sweetheart. She's everywhere! And, in addition to... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
The Swiss government is banning the cat fur ... [Animal Magentisms]
The Swiss government is banning the cat fur trade after a rash of incidents in which domestic house cats have been poached from their homes to supply soft pelts. We can't decide if we're more upset... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Sarah Jessica Parker? Or The Flying Nun? [Snap Judgment]
[New York, NY; March 6. Image via INFdaily.com] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
French Femmes Fond Of Le Fucking [Foreign Affairs]
A new study has found that French women are "increasingly assertive" in their sexual habits. Which basically means they're sleeping around more: In 1970, 68% claimed to have had only one partner, In... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Parker Posey: Downtown Dress, Uptown Dog [Snap Judgment]
[New York, March 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin] [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
MagHag [Maghag]
An unfortunate side-effect of working for Jezebel (besides the carpal tunnel, that is) is that we acquire enough issues of Cosmo to fill the waiting room of a third-rate day spa. But, while... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

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