Because I Don't Date Chicks
Maybe you do, but if you don't, this line is priceless. The next time some "trick of the week" tries to say some snarky comment to you, calmly say "If I dated women, I would be more concerned with what you think, but since I don't, you don't rate." Earn bonus points if you say this infront of guys...guys love a chick who can handle catty-ness without needing them to come to your rescue. Plus you have a sense of humor, and just enough bitchiness to make them want you.
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Did You Pay For This? No? Then Shut The Hell Up!
This one is directed more towards those hoodrat-esque catty chicks. And FYI, being a hoodrat is colorblind so don't start assuming...
The next time some chick wants to comment on your hair or clothes like it's such an offense to her...ask her in the calmest most "I-can't-believe-how-pathetic-you-are" voice "Since it's such an issue for you, do you want to pay for me to get new [insert noun here] right now so you'll fee better? No? Then why are you talking?" She'll be picking her face up off the floor.
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Is This How You Impress The Men?!
Seriously, we all know that most men will get with anything that looks female and moves, but most guys absolutely go running for the hills when they see a girl and then cattiness rears its ugly head! Why? Because deep down they know that if the girl they're with is so quick to snap on other people, she'll REALLY snap on him whenever she wants and over ANYTHING no matter how stupid the reason.
Translation: Calling her out on obvious behavior will again make her look stupid in front of the guys.
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Yup, You're A Classy Lady Alright...
In case you haven't noticed the theme of this list, it's to call attention to how pathetic the catty chick is. Every woman, no matter what their station is in life, wants to be thought of as classy. I've never heard someone say "I don't want to be treated like a lady, I want to be treated like a ho". Heck, even Trina calls herself a classy ho in her song "Baddest Bitch" so, go with this theme. Dropping this bomb into any conversation with a catty chick will have her desperately defending herself. And, the fact that she has to defend herself shows that she's out of line. It's a mental bomb, and it'll always get a rise out of someone when you say it.
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Because If You Had A Life, You Wouldn't Be Desperate To Crawl Into Mine
Yet another mental bomb. Why? Because seriously, if you have plenty going on in your life, you're not going to run around talking smack about people all day. You're so busy being about the business, you don't have time to worry about stupid things like someone's hair cut or their clothes.
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I See Why You're Single Now!
Because you and your busted girlfriends have nothing better to do all day then TRY to cut people up. In fact, you're so busy trying to cut down other women that you can't seem to get out of your own way to meet a man. How convenient, now there are more men for us to choose from. Thanks catty bitches!
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Because It's A Matter of Time Before She Meets Someone Who Truly Calls Her On Her Shit
The general rule is that everyone thinks they're a bad ass until they meet someone who's even more bad ass than them. I mean come on, that's what sports are based on. One team won the national championship the year before, but that doesn't make you the ultimate bad ass supreme for the rest of your life.
If you can't think of anything to say to a catty chick, go home with the happy knowledge that Ms. Catty will definitely meet her match in due time. Now, whether that's a verbal or physical smack down depends on how stupid she is in sizing up the competition.
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Because Giving A Piece Of Your Mind Or Sharing Your 2 Cents Isn't Always Good
Next time someone tells you that they had to give you a piece of their mind, please let them know that they need all of it, and should stop sharing it. Maybe this "sharing is caring" mantra that they've been using is the reason that they say such ignorant things...they keep sharing the portion of their brain that controls the thought-to-conversation conversion.
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OnMyList
List your pants off!