You are proud of yourself for being thrifty when you buy duct tape as a substitute for both a high chair and a playpen.
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You think face down in a shoe is a perfectly fine place for a baby to sleep.
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When your daughter asks if she can ride her bike, you say "Sure!" without asking her the all-important follow-up question of, "Where are you going to ride?"
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When someone asks you, "What's wrong with this picture?" You say, "That baby is too little to drink out of a mug. His beer should be in a bottle!"
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When someone asks you "What's wrong with this picture?" You say, "That baby should be fastened into a high chair. He might fall off that big chair!"
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Your wife leaves you in charge of the kids while she goes shopping. She returns home to find you sleeping. She finds one of the kids in the kitchen.....
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....and the other two in the living room.
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You think your wife should congratulate you for multi-tasking when you give the baby a bath in the sink while washing the dishes....
including sharp knives and a cheese grater!
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You teach your child to gather the coins from the water in a fountain because you want him to learn early how to make his own way in the world.
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AND... you think selling a bit of adspace is a great way to turn your little tax deduction into a real moneymaker!
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You tell your son not to be a wimp and to stand up for himself against bullies no matter how big the other guy is.
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You think as long as the baby is going to be crawling around on the floor, he might as well be doing a bit of cleaning while he's down there.
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You take the kids to a drive through safari for a day of fun.
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You hire a clown for your three year old's birthday party.
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Your wife suggests that your child is old enough to have a pet, so you bring home a hat full of baby possums.
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