Silly, Silly Songs

• Tennessee Bird Walk --- Blanchard & Morgan
  Take away the trees and the birds All have to sit upon the ground, uum Take away their wings and The birds will have to walk to get around And take away the bird baths And dirty birds will soon be ev'rywhere Take away their feathers and The birds will walk around in underwear Take away their chirp and the Birds will have to whisper when they sing And take away their common sense and They'll be headed southward in the spring Oh remember my darling When spring is in the air And the bald headed birds Are whisp'ring ev'rywhere You can see them walking Southward in their dirty underwear That's Tennessee Bird walk How about some trees so the birds Won't have to sit upon the ground, uum How about some wings so the Birds won't have to walk to get around And how about a bird bath or two so the birds will all be clean How about some feathers so their Underwear no longer can be seen How about a chirp so the birds Won't have to whisper when they sing And how about some common sense so they Won't be blocking traffic in the spring Oh remember my darling When spring is in the air And the bald headed birds Are whisp'ring ev'rywhere You can see them walking Southward in their dirty underwear That's Tennessee Bird walk

• One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple People Eater ---Sheb Wooley
  Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky It had the one long horn, one big eye I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee" It looks like a purple eater to me It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater (One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater) A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater Sure looks strange to me (One eye?) Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me I heard him say in a voice so gruff I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater One-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater Sure looks strange to me (One horn?) I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine But that's not the reason that I came to land I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater (We wear short shorts) Flyin' purple people eater Sure looks strange to me And then he swung from the tree and he lit on the ground He started to rock, really rockin' around It was a crazy ditty with a swingin' tune Sing a boop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater I like short shorts Flyin' little people eater Sure looks strange to me (Purple People?) And then he went on his way, and then what do ya know I saw him last night on a TV show He was blowing it out, a'really knockin' em dead Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head (clarinet solo) Tequila

• Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Brian Hyland
  She was afraid to come out of the locker She was as nervous as she could be She was afraid to come out of the locker She was afraid that somebody would see One, two, three, four, tell the people what she wore It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini That she wore for the first time today An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini So in the locker she wanted to stay Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more She was afraid to come out in the open And so a blanket around she wore She was afraid to come out in the open And so she sat bundled up on the shore Two, three, four, tell the people what she wore It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini That she wore for the first time today An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini So in the blanket she wanted to stay Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more Now she is afraid to come out of the water And I wonder what she's gonna do Now she is afraid to come out of the water And the poor little girl's turning blue Two, three, four, tell the people what she wore It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini That she wore for the first time today An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini So in the water she wanted to stay (From the locker to the blanket) (From the blanket to the shore) (From the shore to the water) Yes, there isn't any more

• Boy Named Sue --- Johnny Cash
  My daddy left home when I was three And he didn't leave much to Ma and me Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid But the meanest thing that he ever did Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue.' Well, he must o' thought that is was quite a joke And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk, It seems I had to fight my whole life through. Some gal would giggle and I'd get red And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head, I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named 'Sue.' Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean, My fist got hard and my wits got keen, I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame. But I made me a vow to the moon and stars That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars And kill that man that give me that awful name. Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July And I just hit town and my throat was dry, I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew. At an old saloon on a street of mud, There at a table, dealing stud, Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me 'Sue.' Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had, And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye. He was big and bent and gray and old, And I looked at him and my blood ran cold And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' how do you do! Now you gonna die!" Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes And he went down but, to my surprise, He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair right across his teeth And we crashed through the wall and into the street Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer. I tell ya, I've fought tougher men But I really can't remember when, He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile. I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss, He went for his gun and I pulled mine first, He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile. And he said: "Son, this world is rough And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough And I know I wouldn't be there to help ya along. So I give ya that name and I said good-bye I knew you'd have to get tough or die And it's that name that helped to make you strong." He said: 'Now you just fought one hell of a fight And I know you hate me, and you got the right To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do. But ya ought to thank me, before I die, For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you 'Sue'.' I got all choked up and I threw down my gun And I called him my pa, and he called me his son, And I come away with a different point of view. And I think about him, now and then, Every time I try and every time I win, And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him Bill or George! Anything but sue! I still hate that name!

• You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd --- Roger Miller
  Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd But you can be happy if you've a mind to Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage But you can be happy if you've a mind to All ya gotta do is put your mind to it Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool But you can be happy if you've a mind to Ya can't change film with a kid on your back Ya can't change film with a kid on your back Ya can't change film with a kid on your back But you can be happy if you've a mind to Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car But you can be happy if you've a mind to All ya gotta do is put your mind to it Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it Well, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd But you can be happy if you've a mind to Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch But you can be happy if you've a mind to Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd SPOKEN: "Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd" FADE Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

• I'm My Own Grandpa ---- Buck Owens
  Oh, many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I was married to a widow Who was pretty as can be This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red My father fell in love with her And soon the two were wed This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life For my daughter was my mother 'Cause she was my father's wife To complicate the matter Though it really brought me joy I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy This little baby then became A brother-in-law to Dad And so became my uncle Though it made me very sad For if he was my uncle Then that also made him brother Of the widow's grown-up daughter Who of course is my step-mother Chorus I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know But it really is so Oh, I'm my own grandpa My father's wife then had a son Who kept them on the run And he became my grandchild For he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue Because although she is my wife She's my grandmother too Now if my wife is my grandmother Then I'm her grandchild And every time I think of it It nearly drives me wild For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw As husband of my grandma I am my own grandpa [chorus]

• Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah --- Allen Sherman
  Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh, Here I am at Camp Grenada Camp is very entertaining and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy He developed poison ivy You remember Leonard Skinner He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner. All the counselors hate the waiters And the lake has alligators And the head coach wants no sissies So he reads to us from something called Ulysses. Now I don't want this should scare ya But my bunkmate has malaria You remember Jeffrey Hardy They're about to organize a searching party. Take me home, oh muddah fadduh, take me home, I hate Grenada Don't leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear. Take me home, I promise I will not make noise or mess the house with other boys, oh please don't make me stay, I've been here one whole day. Dearest fadduh, darling muddah, How's my precious little bruddah? Let me come home if ya miss me I will even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me. Wait a minute, it stopped hailing, Guys are swimming, guys are sailing, Playing baseball, gee that's better, Muddah Fadduh please disregard this letter.

• The Streak --- Ray Stevens
  (Reporter): Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter with all the news that is news across the nation, on the scene at the supermarket. There seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened? (Witness): Yeah, I did. I's standin' over there by the tomaters, and here he come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables, nekkid as a jay bird. And I hollered over t' Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed. (Chorus) Here he comes, look at that, look at that There he goes, look at that, look at that And he ain't wearin' no clothes Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Look at that, look at that Fastest thing on two feet Look at that, look at that He's just as proud as he can be Of his anatomy He goin' give us a peek Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Look at that, look at that He likes to show off his physique Look at that, look at that If there's an audience to be found He'll be streakin' around Invitin' public critique (Reporter): This is your action news reporter once again, and we're here at the gas station. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened? (Witness): Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin my car checked, he just appeared out of the traffic. Come streakin' around the grease rack there, didn't have nothin' on but a smile. I looked in there, and Ethel was gettin' her a cold drink. I hollered, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late. She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers. (Chorus) He ain't crude, look at that, look at that He ain't lewd, look at that, look at that He's just in the mood to run in the nude Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Look at that, look at that He likes to turn the other cheek Look at that, look at that He's always makin' the news Wearin' just his tennis shoes Guess you could call him unique (Reporter): Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym, covering the disturbance at the basketball playoff. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened? (Witness): Yeah, I did. Half time, I's just goin' down thar to get Ethel a snow cone. And here he come, right out of the cheap seats, dribbling, right down the middle of the court. Didn't have on nothing but his PF's. Made a hook shot and got out through the concessions stand. I hollered up at Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late. She'd already got a free shot. Grandstandin', right there in front of the home team. (Chorus) Oh, yes, they call him the Streak (Witness) Here he comes again. (Chorus) Look at that, look at that (Witness) Who's that with him? (Chorus) The fastest thing on two feet (Witness) Ethel? Is that you, Ethel? (Chorus) Look at that, look at that (Witness) What do you think you're doin'? (Chorus) He's just as proud as he can be (Witness) You git your clothes on! (Chorus) Of his anatomy (Chorus) He's gonna give us a peek (Chorus) Oh, yes, they call him the Streak (Witness) Ethel! Where you goin'? (Chorus) Look at that, look at that (Witness) Ethel, you shameless hussy! (Chorus) He likes to show off his physique (Witness) Say it isn't so, Ethel! Ethellllll!!!! (Chorus) Look at that, look at that If there's an audience to be found He'll be streakin' around Invitin' public critique

• On Top of Spaghetti --- Tom Glazer & DoReMi Children's Choir
  On top of spaghetti, All covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table, And on to the floor, And then my poor meatball, Rolled out of the door. It rolled in the garden, And under a bush, And then my poor meatball, Was nothing but mush. The mush was as tasty As tasty could be, And then the next summer, It grew into a tree. The tree was all covered, All covered with moss, And on it grew meatballs, And tomato sauce. So if you eat spaghetti, All covered with cheese, Hold on to your meatball, Whenever you sneeze.

• Dead Skunk --- Loudon Wainwright III
  Crossin' the highway late last night He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right He didn't see the station wagon car The skunk got squashed and there you are! You got yer Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinkin' to high Heaven! Take a whiff on me, that ain't no rose! Roll up yer window and hold yer nose You don't have to look and you don't have to see 'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory You got yer Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinkin' to high Heaven! Yeah you got yer dead cat and you got yer dead dog On a moonlight night you got yer dead toad frog Got yer dead rabbit and yer dead raccoon The blood and the guts they're gonna make you swoon! You got yer Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road You got yer dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinkin' to high Heaven! C'mon stink! You got it! It's dead, it's in the middle Dead skunk in the middle! Dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinkin' to high heaven! All over the road, technicolor man! Oh, you got pollution It's dead, it's in the middle And it's stinkin' to high, high Heaven

• Sneaky Snake --- Tom T. Hall
  Boys and girls take warning, if you go near the lake Keep your eyes wide open, and look for Sneaky Snake Now maybe you won't see him, maybe you won't hear But he'll sneak up behind you, and drink all your root beer And then Sneaky Snake goes dancin', wigglin' and a-hissin' Sneaky Snake goes dancin', gigglin' and a-kissin' I don't like old Sneaky Snake; he laughs too much you see When he goes wigglin' through the grass, it tickles his underneath Well, Sneaky Snake drinks root beer, and he just makes me sick When he is not dancin', he looks just like a stick Now, he doesn't have any arms or legs, you cannot see his ears And while we are not lookin', he's stealin' all of our beer And then Sneaky Snake goes dancin', wigglin' and a-hissin' Sneaky Snake goes dancin', gigglin' and a-kissin' I don't like old Sneaky Snake; he laughs too much you see When he goes wigglin' through the grass, it tickles his underneath

• Lumberjack Song --- Monty Python
  I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK I sleep all night and I work all day. Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day. I cut down trees, I eat my lunch I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch He goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea. Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day. I cut down trees, I skip and jump I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?! Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day. I cut down trees, I wear high heels Suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa!! Mounties: I cut down trees, I wear high heels?! Suspenders...and a bra?!... Just the Lumberjack: I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa!!

• If My Nose Was Running Money --- Aaron Wilburn
  My brother sent this one from YouTube to me in the email recently. It seemed like an appropriate way to end this list.

  (The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)

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