Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Whoever coined the term “Buyer Beware” was probably bleeding from the asshole.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
“Meow” means “woof” in cat
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
The planet is fine. The people are fucked!
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
What year did Jesus think it was?
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
"If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
"Just because you got the monkey off your back does not mean the circus has left town."
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
"The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
"If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter."
(The list item has a youtube video, please visit the list to check it out)
OnMyList
List your pants off!