The Worst City Names in the World
By 
Introduction
Courtesy of Jane Copeland.
1
Cockburn, Western Australia
Although this name is often pronounced "Coburn" by those who stand to lose from its awfulness, who actually reads that when they see this word? Oh, how it burns.
2
Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland
The Shetland Islands, pronounced "Shitland Islands" by the locals. Oh the pride...
3
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapok-
aiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand
Locals call this hill in Hawke's Bay "Taumata" because... Well. Just because.
4
Muff, Ireland
They have a town called Muff. Har har har.
5
Looneyville, Texas, United States
Little Looneyville was named for storekeeper John Looney in the early 1870s. But who gives a shit. This is a hilarious name for a town in the state that brought us Dallas, the Bush Twins and Waco. How awkward must that be when you go to college? "Hey guys, my name's Johnny and I'm from Looneyville!"
6
Titty Hill, Sussex, England
Falling squarely into the extensive Stupid Place Names From England category, Titty Hill is probably located just north of...
7
Thong, Kent, England
Which actually is south-east of...
8
Gravesend, Kent, England
Oh, come on, England. Graves End? What a nasty, depressing little name. You could have at least gone all the way with this one and called it Corpse Feet.
9
Wetwang, Yorkshire... yep! England again!
Okay, so I'll cut England some slack. It's an old country. You know, if the United States is Google, then England is IBM. Their country is older than freakin dirt. They can't be blamed for having names that sound funny in 2007. But this is kind of ridiculous. Wetwang? I'm surprised they don't have towns called Squishy Vagina or Infected Scrotum.
10
Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
If I were mayor of Spread Eagle, I'd be making diplomatic advances towards the city leaders over in Wetwang to form a Sister-City relationship. Or maybe more of a Platonic-Friends-City relationship. After that, we'd just take thing slow and see what happened.
11
Bald Knob, Arkansas, United States
Well, I guess it's better than Hairy Knob. I assume England already has that one covered.
12
Cockup, Cumbria, England
Cumbria is a county in the very north-west of England. What the backwoods of Alabama are to America is what Cumbria is to Britain. They talk funny up there. Thus, it isn't thoroughly surprising that they have a town called Cockup. What do you call someone from this place? A Cockupper? Cockupeleite? Cockuppian? Cockupican? I suppose it's mildly better than Wetwangger.
13
Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington State, United States
As hard as America tries, it can't compete with Britain's high standards. This was a good effort, though. Well done, Washington.
14
Hookersville, West Virginia
Undoubtedly named before "hooker" meant "prostitute who picks men up on street corners," Hookersville combines two crimes of place-naming. One, a dirty sounding adjective (they couldn't have chosen "Pleasant"? "Sunny"? "Happy"?) And two, they added "ville" to the end of the town's name. Affixing "ville" to the end of a town's name is like dressing your silly little dog in a cardigan and letting him carry his leash around in his mouth. It just makes the poor animal look stupid.
15
Hell, Michigan, United States
The people in this town at least seem to have a good sense of humor about their home's unfortunate name. Although, I'm sure there's some midwestern idiots in Hell who get all offended and defensive when the town shows up on lists like this. I'm looking forward to reading their insightful emails and comments.
16
Toad Suck, Arkansas, United States
So that's what they do down in the big AR.
17
Middelfart, Denmark
I guess it's not so funny to them, but how do we know that "Seattle" doesn't mean "Big Fat Stinking Turd" in Danish? That's right, we don't. And it probably does.
18
Horneytown, North Carolina, United States
Its proximity to Hookersville, West Virginia is no coincidence. I also assume that, like Hookersville, the naming of Horneytown took place before "horney" meant "aching for a hot piece of ass" with an extra "e". But I'm starting to wonder why, pride and tradition aside, the townspeople in these little places never saw it fit to change their homes' names? Do they enjoy being ridiculed by the entire English-speaking world?
19
Shitterton, Dorset, England
I wonder if they bleep out the first part of Shitterton's name if it's mentioned on the Disney Channel?
20
Disappointment, Kentucky, United States
Le sigh. Never mind. You live in a small town in Kentucky. At least it was appropriately named.
21
Fucking, Austria
The idiots who live in Fucking, Austria had a vote in 2004 to determine whether or not they should change the town's name, and you know what they did? They voted against it, preferring instead to put up with international ridicule, numerous stolen road-signs and horrific Google results.
22
Last but not least: Whakapapa
Why is this the worst place name in the world? In Maori, the native language of New Zealand, the "wh" sound is pronounced "f". Say it aloud in your office and see what happens.
Can't forget such classics from my home state of Pennsylvania:
Intercourse, PA
Blue Ball, PA
Oh those wacky Pennsylvania Dutch
Intercourse, PA
Blue Ball, PA
Oh those wacky Pennsylvania Dutch
Personal favorite of mine is "Satan's Kingdom, Vermont"
Good to see you're crediting the original author of this funny list. Here's the address of Jane's Copland version:
http://www.drivl.com/posts/view/851
http://www.drivl.com/posts/view/851
For a generally downbeat name how about
Failsworth It's in the Manchester area in England
Failsworth It's in the Manchester area in England
How didn't PHUKET, Thailand make it on the list???
Tightwad, Missouri
Where you can house your $$$$$$ at Tightwad Bank...the only bank in town!
Where you can house your $$$$$$ at Tightwad Bank...the only bank in town!
You forgot, Little Hope, and Climax, Georgia
Licking, Missouri. Home of the Licking Auction Co., the Licking Library, the Licking Prison and the Licking Dairy Freeze. The Licking News..where they "give a lick about Licking".
Missouri could have its own list....
Missouri could have its own list....
Hey i just registered just to say your stupid motherfucker do you know that ok 1 i live in kentucky 2 don't make fun of ppls towns names 3 you probably think im a hillbilly don't you fucker well let me tell you something asshole i may be smarter than you why don't you tell us your damn town name huh let me tell you something im proud of where i live here there is barely and serious weather its not as cold in the winter you know what im going to make a damned list
1) No serious weather
2) No natural disasters
3) No tourists (besides the derby)
4) No iritating city noises
1) No serious weather
2) No natural disasters
3) No tourists (besides the derby)
4) No iritating city noises
Let me add Battiest, OK Not nasty but kind of funny.
I think your list is great and not meant to cast aspersions on any particular town or area.
I think your list is great and not meant to cast aspersions on any particular town or area.
No, "asshole911" is not one of my aliases! It is good to know though that at least one stereotype is true. Based n your grammer, asshole, you aren't smarter than anyone. Why don't you brush your tooth, run out to the privy one last time, kiss you wife/sister good night, and turn in.
For the record, Orkney and Shetland are separate archipelagoes. (And as long as I'm bestowing helpful knowledge, the locals don't call it the "Orkney Islands," either--just "Orkney"). The Shetlands are pretty far from Orkney, so I don't really see how someone could have made this kind of mistake. It's like saying that Vancouver, Washington state is actually in California.
If you don't believe me, see for yourself:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shetland_Islands
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orkney
p.s. In addition to not being in Shetland, Orkney is gorgeous, but that ferry ride is a real doozy. :)
If you don't believe me, see for yourself:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shetland_Islands
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orkney
p.s. In addition to not being in Shetland, Orkney is gorgeous, but that ferry ride is a real doozy. :)
Woah! Orkney is not in Shetland. Different bunch of islands.
For daft English names, what about Wideopen, just north of Newcastle? A pub there used to have a soccer team called the Beavers!
For daft English names, what about Wideopen, just north of Newcastle? A pub there used to have a soccer team called the Beavers!
Love it! I'm sure there are more crazy names in Arkansas but all I know off the top of my head are two funny river names, Dry sac and Little Sac.
what about Boring, Oregon?
I used to think Nowata, OK was a funny name. Then I learned that there's a Lotawata in southeast OK, and it became hilarious.
DUDE!!! Hilaruous but how could you overlook Bird In Hand, PA?? We Pennsylvanians also can boast such winners as Intercourse and Blue Ball. :) Heh heh
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