Helpful advice which can assist anyone in getting an IPhone for free

This might be most peoples best bet right now so I will try and give some pointers on how to do this better.
1. Be Over The Top Witty, wittier than you have ever been in your life.
2. Have a great Title, this is what will draw everyone in.
3. Think about what lists you like to read, and ones you just have to click on.
4. Try to have mass appeal.
5. Originality, a must.

I was seriously considering giving you pointers on this one but there is a lot of technology invovled with the security inside apple stores. I'm not sure I could explain in 500 characters or less. If you can figure out the cameras and laser sensors at all the enterances and exists, the IPhone in kept in the back storage area, second shelf on the bottom left.

This way you don't have to deal with all the laser beams and what not. My best piece of advice here is a speedy getaway. Getting the iphone from the acne faced 35 year old who lives with his grandparents whose dream has been fulfilled by working at the Apple store, is the easy part. By the way, he probably already has 4 or 5 iphones at his house if you feel like taking the easy way out, and just following him back to Grammy's house after work.

I don't understand this, but for some reason people LOVE giving celebrities free things. I'm finding that the best way to become a celebrity these days is by getting onto a reality TV show (easy) and making a total ass of yourself. Basically become a totally irrational human being in front of the entire television viewing audience, and trust me, you can get a free iphone.

I don't feel like assisting any further than this. I don't really even get what the big fuss is over the iphone. I mean, it sounds like a cool thing to have, especially for down time like flying, but who really needs to be that connected to everything all the time. I used to joke that I wasn't going to buy a single piece of technology until you could get it all in one (the cell phone, laptop, and ipod). I made that joke less than a year ago, then I had to get a cell phone because someone stole all the pay phones (if anyone knows who did this let me know), then I had to get a laptop because someone made to internet fun and possibly just as useful as CO2 (again, if anyone knows who did this...). I guess its kind of cool, but does anyone really NEED one.

I dare anyone to come up with better ways to get an iphone for free.