Email etiquette (or lack there of...)
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Introduction
From an old blog I wrote:
Email has been around publicly for almost 15 years, yet people haven't quite caught on as to how to properly use it.
When people read out a phone number, they use "phone rhythm." No one has to explain "phone rhythm," we all just seem to do it automatically, "…713...555...12…34". Similarly, when we answer a phone call we all say, "Hello." No one taught us to do that, but somehow we all seemed to pick it up.
So why is it that when it comes to emails, there are no accepted standards? Even though billions of emails are sent every day, almost no one agrees about simple things like email etiquette, how to organize a note, or whether emails are considered private or not.
A few tips & tricks fer ya...
1
Don't send private messages with the company account.
Don't compose an email about how much you hate your job & you are thinking about leaving - from your work email address. Although you can't see them, every company has a little 3ft tall dwarf they call a System Administrators who manage emails from a centralized location. They can easily search everyone's email for oddities.... You already have a public web-based email address....use it.
2
Use BCC if necessary.
This one might take the cake. I've noticed that half the people out there don't even know what BCC stands for. It stands for "USE THIS FREAKIN BOX IF YOU ARE GOING TO MASS EMAIL". It is there for a reason. When you mass email, not everyone knows each other & it is not kosher to let others know one's email address. Some people don't care, while there are others who are very particular about who has their email address. Shoot, why don't you email everyone my social security number too while you are at it. Funny how the latter half have 98% less spam than the former half.
3
Don't forward chain letters.
Sad that we even have to discuss this, but yes they keep just piling up… Just don't do it. Enough said. That includes the email that says that if you don't forward it to 10 people you'll die. I don't care how superstitious you are, don't send them. It just shows you how naïve you are…
Come to think of it, these are the things that people believe as they forward on these emails:
- They no longer have any savings because they gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
- Although they are now broke because they gave Penny Brown all their money, that will change once they receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending them for participating in their special forwarding e-mail program.
- They no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
- They no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in their back seat when they're pumping gas.
- They no longer check the coin return on pay phones because they could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
- They no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
- They no longer answer the phone because someone will ask them to dial a number for which they will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.
- They no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once they receive their free replacement pair from Nike.
- And thanks to everyone's great advice, they can't ever pick up the $5.00 they dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath their car to grab their leg.
Come to think of it, these are the things that people believe as they forward on these emails:
- They no longer have any savings because they gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
- Although they are now broke because they gave Penny Brown all their money, that will change once they receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending them for participating in their special forwarding e-mail program.
- They no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
- They no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in their back seat when they're pumping gas.
- They no longer check the coin return on pay phones because they could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
- They no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
- They no longer answer the phone because someone will ask them to dial a number for which they will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.
- They no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once they receive their free replacement pair from Nike.
- And thanks to everyone's great advice, they can't ever pick up the $5.00 they dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath their car to grab their leg.
4
Cut down on sigs.
If I can hold up a 6" sub sandwich vertically to my computer monitor & your email signature is longer than the sub sandwich, then you have a problem. Also, I don't think your "quote of the day" at the bottom of your signature is cute. I don't need your philosophical quotes to remind me of how spiritual you are…
5
Respond to group email appropriately.
If someone has sent a group email that requires a response, but only to the sender or a couple of parties, don't copy everyone on your reply. Its ok if you send out the email with 20 questions & you answer them according to your likes & dislikes, but I don't need your fat cousin from Boston that nobody knows emailing back about how she prefers chocolate over vanilla & that her favorite food is pizza (except when she is on her period, then it is chocolate). Even though there is a "Reply All" button, it exists solely for decoration, you aren't actually suppose to use it.
6
Flagging email as URGENT.
Ever heard of the story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"? Enough said…
7
Email backgrounds.
You are not 6 years old, you are an adult. Notice how everyone else has a plain white background? We do this for a reason, SO THE RECIPIENT CAN FREAKIN READ IT. I'm sorry, I just can't see your email when you have flowers & poka-dots in the background.
so brilliant. HATE the backgrounds, chain letters and insane signatures. totally and completely unnecessary.
so you mean we have to write something on the lists page??? ha! i need to sleep first and then i will continue....
What about "Read Receipts"? I hate these. They can be necessary for some businesses but don't send every single email out with that option checked. Pick and choose. You don't need the RR when you just told me you, finally, turned your fax on and can now receive the freakin' fax I've already tried to send 4 times. Maybe fax etiquette is another list...
NO CHAIN LETTERS.
snopes.com - use it before you send me the sad story, the latest corporate malfeasance or the outraged political issue; even if what you are sending is true, it's probably two years old.
Thank you very much...
Thank you very much...
If you are so busy that you don't have time to use proper capatalization and punctuation, well ....... well nothing, just do it! I know that all you young hipsters out there got out of the habit due to texting and plain old laziness, but I am fairly certain your computer keyboards have all of the required keys; get back in the habit, please.
People you don't know judge you by the way you communicate.
People you don't know judge you by the way you communicate.
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