Computer Commands That Should Exist

Do you want to save? Do you want to save? Do you want to save??? Sometimes, this friendly reminder can get annoying, especially if you don’t really care about what it is you’re working on. For the indecisive, the “save, but don’t worry about it” function will tell your computer to save the file, but not to go out of its way, or to schlep, or otherwise exert itself too much. Because frankly, you just don’t care what it does.

Printer to slow? No problemo. Just hit “Print Faster” and your computer will “rush” the job, no questions asked. Hit ALT before this command to make your printer go slower, for times at work when you want to chill.

The “Open Exactly What I Want” command is useful when you want your computer to open up exactly what it is you want. No more of that searching through files, looking through documents, backtracking, and sidestepping. Just visualize the file you need, hit the command, and watch as your computer gives you exactly what you want.

We’ve all been there. In the “zone,” so to speak. Suddenly, a door flies open and it’s your boss, lover, or mom. What to do? Easy. Hit CTRL+P+!?+H. This command will automatically turn those dirty pictures right into pictures of beautiful roses, carnations, or lilies (you can chose which under Settings). You might want to familiarize yourself with these flowers so when you’re asked why you’re looking at those pictures you can say “With 110 species of lilies, the question is why aren’t YOU learning about flowers?”

Nothing is more frustrating than finding just the link you need, and then being given the ol’ 404 File Not Found. But with this command, your computer will just look harder, and find the exact file you need.

The next time you get attacked by a series of pop-up windows, just hit this combination of characters. This will send a signal to the host computer that sent you the pop ups and give them all the pop ups.