Things To Keep In Mind During the Zombie Apocalypse
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Introduction
It's coming. You know it is.
1
I love my cats. More than I love most people. But if zombies walk the earth, those cute faces are dinner.
2
Don't go back...for anyone. Your friends are smart enough to get out. And if you're shaking your head...well than they're already dead.
3
Screwdrivers. Crowbars. Hammers. All things that are weapons...and tools.
4
The Mall: sucky place to go on the weekend...even suckier place to go in a zombie infestation.
5
Be well read. Those of us who've read Walking Dead, World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide...we're golden.
6
Canned Food. It is your friend.
7
Zombies are not pets. The cure is not coming. Keeping your brain eating boyfriend tied up out back? Bad idea.
8
Everyone whose watched Romero knows...trust the black guy. Everyone else is a freakin idiot.
9
Best places to go? Prisons. Warehouses. National Gaurd Stations. Basically anything rural, well stocked with munchies and well fortified.
10
SUV=death. Sure, it'll plow over the decaying corpses on your way out of town. But try siphoning gas for a car that only gets 15 miles to the gallon. nasty.
11
Essentials only. And that doesn't mean your life's collection of Hustler. Or your DVD player...(TESSIE!)...
12
Shoot them in the head!...Or bash them in the head...or blow torch them in the head...or shoot an arrow in their...you get the point.
13
It's the apocalyse, you ass. So when all else fails and you know you're gonna get it eventually...do everything you ever wanted to! Try to make the best of the mother of all crappy situations.
14
More people=more zombies. Head for the boondocks, people!
I'm getting some cats so I can save our dogs.
Oh dear. I haven't read any of those mentioned in #5. Maybe I better go to the library.
I'll meet you there, kb. Do we need to get silver bullets, wooden stakes, garlic???
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