Craigslist 101: How to not get your stuff sold...
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Introduction
If you are a West coaster, it is quite easy to develop an unhealthy reliance on Craigslist. As an avid Craigslister, I must comment on common incompetencies whilst attempting to sell something in the For Sale section...
1
It’s a Sleigh Bed, not "slay bed". That would be a very bad advertising point.
2
Your dining set is Wrought Iron, not "rod iron" and definitely not "rot iron".
3
You originally purchased your lovely lamps at Saks 5th Avenue, not Sac’s 5th Avenue. I think they sell something entirely different at Sac's.
4
"Couch in good condition no rips or tears" is to furniture what "quaint cottage" is to real estate.
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Having more than 7 exclamation points following your lovely item’s description or TYPING IN ALL CAPS does not make it any more valuable.
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They’re not chester drawers… it’s a chest OF drawers.
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"Distressed wood", "Retro", "Period piece", "Shabby chic" and "Authentic vintage" = really ugly, ca.1972.
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"Really well built" and "very well made" = really very ugly.
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"Must Sacrifice" = gambling debt.
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"Selling only because I am moving" = gambling debt.
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"If time weren't of the essence I would want $750 for everything but since I have to leave pretty soon the first person with $300 who can pick it all up gets it!" = gambling debt.
12
What you paid for it originally really and truly has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on what we are willing to pay for it now.
13
There’s no such thing as a China Hut. Well, of course a dwelling in China or an establishment that sells dishes but I’m pretty sure you meant "China hutch".
14
"This piece would work with any décor" = except yours.
15
Used Ikea furniture only sells in areas where there is no actual Ikea store.
16
Apparently since Ikea originated in Sweden, there is no furniture for sale on CL Sweden.
17
"Willing to let it go" = Please, please get this piece of shit out of my house.
18
"New" is to furniture you’ve brought home as "Used" is to a car you drive 2 miles off the lot.
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"Beautiful framed art" = always framed, sometimes art, rarely beautiful.
20
"No Idiots please!" and "PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE STUPID OR CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS" = CL virgin- take advantage.
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