Umm, is anybody else hot or is it just me?
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Introduction
Hot flashes, the bane of middle age women. Well one of the banes, the other would be middle age men. They can be managed or controlled, but they seem to lurk in the background, just waiting to fell the unsuspecting female at the worst possible time. The hot flashes not the middle aged men.
Night
You wake up, you are "broiling", you kick off the covers, get up and check the thermostat to make sure it is still at 68 where you have to have it to sleep. Of course everyone else in the house is in thermal long-johns. Drink a glass of ice water - that helps; until two hours later when you have to pee.
Up and at 'em
Getting ready to meet the day usually involves a lot of heat; shower, blow dryer, flat iron, curling iron, etc. By the time the ritual is completed the sweat is pouring off and the hair is wet again. It is a never ending cycle...
Hot cars
Not as in hot wheels, no, getting into hot cars in the summer time. Nothing kicks the flash into gear faster than a black car in the parking lot. Can't wait until the AC gets going with every vent pointed at you. To hell with every one else. They aren't roasting alive!
Skinny girls
Yeah, the office is full of them. I was one once. The older ladies control the thermostats. Bummer! I know you think you work in Alaska, but I'm feeling like I work in the Sahara. And I have the thermostat so I WIN!! Learn to wear a sweater in the office like I did.
Alcohol
Just when you need it the most: wrinkles, geezers, fat, SAS shoes, bad knees and ankles, kids in college, gray hair, saggy - splotchy skin; yeah when you could really use a drink - the alcohol raises your body temperature to an unbearable degree. Sure, you think, just one gin and tonic, I'll be okay. CRAP!! Now I'm in hell, I have to take off some clothes - NOW!!
Don't laugh
Your time is coming...
Thought I was having one the other day, turned out I had the seat heater on in the car.
Well, I certainly hope my time is not coming, but this is a list I know somethig about. It would be hilarious if it weren't so painfully true. Oh shit, now you are crying right? Oh, laughing like a hyenna? It had to be one of the two.
I saw a news story once about the American Menopause Association National Conference in Chicage. I laughed for an hour trying to imagine what that general session would be like: "The chair recognizes the delegate from Ohio." "Is it hot in here?" "No, it is not hot in here, you cow." "Who (sob) are you (sob) calling a (sob) cow, bitch?" "Wait! Now I am hot." "I move we recess, take off our clothes and go stand in Lake Michigan." "Second!!!!" "Meeting adjourned."
I saw a news story once about the American Menopause Association National Conference in Chicage. I laughed for an hour trying to imagine what that general session would be like: "The chair recognizes the delegate from Ohio." "Is it hot in here?" "No, it is not hot in here, you cow." "Who (sob) are you (sob) calling a (sob) cow, bitch?" "Wait! Now I am hot." "I move we recess, take off our clothes and go stand in Lake Michigan." "Second!!!!" "Meeting adjourned."
Brag, brag, brag. I am an R-53. Please note the following list... http://www.onmylist.com/category/rants_tangents/Things_that_make_me_cr
y_now_that_I_am_over_50_1
y_now_that_I_am_over_50_1
I understand you're hot all the time but it is like 90 degrees outside and I come to work in pants, closed toed shoes, and a sweater! I get goose bumps all day! lol :~)
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