Most embarrassing moments that did not involve alcohol.

I have zero sense of direction. I get lost in the little alcove, closet thingys for public restrooms. I was 16, first real job, came out of the ladies and was headed into the men's instead of the lobby; a really hot guy came out. He nicely suggested that I might be heading into the wrong head.

I was just sitting at my computer in our little family room in Houston, Mo. The kids were off to school and I was just doing a quick email check while getting ready for work. The door to the outside was a half door half window with no blinds. I hear a knock on the door and see our insurance man peering in, about 12 feet away. I am in my underwear; just the basics, not a pretty sight. I peel out of the chair and head down the hall for clothes. He, in the mean time, wanders the yard checking out some hail damage. Houston is a small town, this is a guy I will see everywhere. EEEK!

Some of you have heard this. Brie spent a semester in London and traveled extensively. It seemed every trip was fraught with some mishap, I was used to getting calls about missed flights, non-existent hostels, etc. So at 3 am one morning when she called and told me that their flight to Barcelona had to land on a boat, my thought was, "Thank God the boat was there". Not that the Mediterranean Sea is past Barcelona, not that commercial air liners can't land on ships, nope just glad she was ok. I emailed all of our friends asking for prayer that the rest of their trip go more smoothly. Obviously she was pulling my chain. Geez, she was pissed when I told her later about the emails.

It's 1974 and I'm invited to a nice wedding, bought a nice dress with ties in the back. Had some nice champagne, had to use the nice facilities. The nice ties on the nice dress ended up in the potty, not so nice. Had to rinse and wring them out while other ladies were coming and going. Then they were wet for the rest of the evening. Eeww!

When I was little my mom would make us hop out and stand in an empty parking space she spotted several rows over, holding it until she could pull the car around and park in it. I still can't go to Christown Mall without flashbacks.

Mom, Gramma and 12 month old Brie were having a special lunch at Bass Pro's Hemmingway's. Smelled the smell, you mom's know the one, the, "oh dang, she's pooed her diaper" smell. It was permeating the area. I had to attend to the problem. I take her into the ladies; this was way before diaper changers in public restrooms. The only place is the very small area between the two sinks. OMG, stinky poo is everywhere!! Ladies are coming in and turning right around going back out. Finally Gramma comes to see what is taking so long. This is such a mess, I have to send her to the children's clothing to buy a new outfit and tie the old one in the baggie. I've had a difficult time washing my hands at that sink ever since.

My boyfriend, myself and another couple had been floating on the Salt River all day. We decided to top it off with a really nice dinner and went to The Other Place, known for it's food and fancy bathrooms. Each stall in the ladies room had a toilet and a bidet. At that time, I sold plumbing at a wholesale company in Phx and had always wanted to try a bidet. My friend and I consumed enough alcohol to give it a go. I must say, it is a very pleasant experience. However, our guys had shared our intent to the entire restaurant and we came out after quite some time to a standing ovation.