It's Even Hotter! It is sooooo hot that...
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Introduction
It is relentless.
The memory of spring's lush green has turned into a brittle barb that crumbles under my feet. My lungs suck in the stale fumes of the earth's slow baking, and the cicada and crickets drone on and on, chatting their magical summer spell, begging for rain and relief.
Heat sears my face and weighs heavy on my arms. I drag the watering hose from flower to flower in a hopeless struggle to provide them life fluids.
I step over my dog, and she looks at me with great disgust. She is cranky and in a daze, and so am I.
It is hot. It is so hot that....
1
I saw two trees in our front yard fight over a dog.
2
the fish are getting ticks.
3
the rivers have been running every other day.
4
the chicken crossed the road...and was fried.
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to save water, the Baptists are sprinkling and the Methodists are wiping with a damp cloth.
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the cows are giving evaporated milk.
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we are picking baked beans out of the garden.
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both taps are running hot water.
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we are feeding the chickens crushed ice so they won't lay hard-boiled eggs.
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the funeral processions are detouring through the Dairy Freeze.
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the birds have been using hot pads to pull the worms out of the ground.
It's hot.
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the worms have been volunteering for fishing duty.
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the fleas are trading in their fur coats for cotton.
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the men are starting to shave their legs.
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the buzzards flying overhead are carrying their own water.
I suspect they are looking for me.
I have been simmering for the past two weeks, and I'm done.
(thanks to many former and fellow sufferers for the descriptions)
I have been simmering for the past two weeks, and I'm done.
(thanks to many former and fellow sufferers for the descriptions)
v. creative! i'm compelled to write a "san francisco is so foggy...." list. grass is always greener, eh?
It is so hot in the midwest this weekend, I saw some squirrels storing their nuts in coolers. I used to think David Letterman had been drinking when he saw that happen. Maybe not?
You are very very funny, even if you don't like bullfighting. ;)
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