Why the South Sucks

It's not cute. It makes one sound stupid and invokes thoughts of all the things on this list.

It's not the nectar of the gods- it's tea with far too much sugar in it.

Sure it's watched elsewhere. But the South takes it to a new level. I just don't get it. They're driving in circles. Sure they're going fast, but they're driving in circles.

It's a wet peanut. It's not some novel delicacy. It's a wet, soggy peanut.

Still completely acceptable in the South. I know people will fight me on this but the quantity of people still flying the confederate flag is terrifying.

It's just so horrible on so many levels.

Can't I just get a waffle or some eggs without that sandy mush spilling all over my plate? And much like boiled peanuts and sweet tea, it's defended to the death as fine dining.

They're everywhere. What is everyone transporting?

Generally found on a pickup. My favorites are:

1. 8 (a Nascar reference of some sort)
2. The confederate flag with the words "fighting terror since 1863"
3. W
4. Calvin peeing on the Ford symbol or Chevy symbol
5. Git-r-done

You know it as "southern hospitality" but southern hospitality doesn't exist. Everyone is just being sickly sweet to your face- the minute you leave they are talking about you, stealing your parking space, not letting you into traffic, cutting in line- you get the idea.