Ways to PISS OFF your Neighbor! Now retired.
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Introduction
See my new list: ways to REALLY piss off your neighbors.
1
play your drums...thru the PA...... at 7 am!!
2
position all of their lawn ornaments into dirty, sexual positions.
3
go over every day....twice a day..... to borrow something, then realizing that you remember you have some after ringing the door bell!
4
put all of your junk mail into their mailbox
5
mow the lawn at 6am
6
mow it again the same night around 10pm!
7
practice using your new jackhammer.... in their driveway!
8
put a crow call CD on, crank it up, aim the speakers out the window..... and go away for a few days.
9
same as number 8, only put on a Celin Dion, John Tesh, David Hasselhoff, William Shatner mix!
10
silicon all of thier doors and windows while they are asleep. (nailing is noise!)
11
monofoam their exhaust pipe!
12
grease the door handles on their house.....everyday!
13
steal their toilet seat.....AND toilet paper..... leave a Sears catalogue for em.... don't be completely mean. They gotta wipe!
14
borrow all of their stuff... then lose or break most of it!
15
paint their driveway bright pink AND purple
16
Invite douchebag Jon Lovitz over to thier house without telling them. (for me...that would be the last straw!!)
17
put all of your garbage in front of their house...the day AFTER garbage day!
18
stuff dead animals in their chimney
19
raise roosters!
20
make your house the local "biker" hangout
21
feed thier pets LOTS of exlax!!
22
twice a month advertise an Indoor All Day yard sale at thier address!
23
put a hornet's nest inside their mailbox!!
24
place thier house in the travel section under Hostels, or Bed and Breakfast. Advertise CHEAP rates to keep thier phone ringing!
25
fill thier yard with flamingo's and gnomes.
26
spread bread crumbs all over thier property, thus inviting hundreds of seagulls and crows over for dinner.
27
unhook thier cable, but only loosen enough so that they don't know it's off, and call the repair man.
28
call the Jehovah's Witnesses and request a personal bible lesson at thier house, make it at 8 am.
29
raid thier garden. Even if they grow rotten tasting veggies.
30
throw all of the vegetables that you stole in thier pool. Tell them you are making a big assed stew!
31
sneak in and unplug their fridge and freezer
32
let the air out of every tire they own.
33
dump out all of their sugar, fill bag with salt.
34
fill their salt shakers with sugar.
35
place "We Support Bush" poster all over their property.
36
pour boiling water into their Goldfish tank.... tell em' yer' making chowder....
37
take the blade off of their lawnmower.... watch frustration mount!
38
fill their Brita with vinegar, place in fridge.
39
hide open cans of sardines all around their house.
40
call the cops and say that they have a "grow op" in their basement
41
re-Install their computer with Window's Millenium. Now THAT'S MEAN... even by my standards.......which are pretty low! :)
42
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43
get a hooker to call the neighbors house and ask for her payment, which Mr.Neighbour skipped out on. Her pimp is pissed.
and YES it would be explained after an hour or so, don't want a murder at the neighbors!
44
paint their windows purple....
45
fill their wheelbarrow with cement.... let dry.....
46
fill their chimney with garbage.
47
advertise Swinger's parties at their address.
48
poke holes in their garden hose.
49
take all of their gas and replace it with diesel.
50
visit their house often in the summer and turn up their heaters when they aren't looking.
51
Have nightly "firecracker" parties at 11 pm... every night.
52
take up playing Bagpipes AND Accordian.... practice in the backyard...... hell... practice in the front yard!! fun for the whole neighbourhood.
53
take up beekeeping. Put the hives on the propert line. Throw clover seeds all over your neighbours lawn in spring : )
54
breed mice and let them all run around "free range style", cover nieghbours yard with cheese.
55
raise pigs.
56
fill their house with crickets. 10,000 should do..... available in any pet store :)
57
knock their satellite dish a fraction of an inch....thus they never get full signal...and blame the weather
58
overfertalize their garden... everything dies.
59
throw a few boxes of tacks in their pool, save some for the lawn!
60
call repeatedly and then hang up, say you got the wrong number....again!
61
have a dump truck load of fresh cow manure dropped in the middle of their driveway, blame truck driver later on.
62
put condoms under the seat of their car, but only half the box, place a couple of used wrappers too!
63
wait till they do groceries, they sneak in and replace their new mayonaise with a way out of date boltle.
64
hang used diapers on their ceiling fan, turn fan on high.
65
write their name, phone number, and the phrase "for a good time call:"... in EVERY bathroom in the city!
66
Inject tuna juice into their ice cream.
67
place porn magazines with the pages glued together under their bed.
68
cover their lawn in dandelion seeds.
69
loosen the nuts on the front wheels on all of their bikes.
70
unhook all of their brake lights in their car.
71
make a candle, put a firecracker in it, leave the fuse out so it looks like the candle wick, give as a gift!
72
pour some milk down the heater and air vents in their cars.
73
invite the elementary school band over to practice in your back yard.... weekly.
74
rent out their pool to strangers....
75
loosen all the bolts and screws on their lawn furniture.
76
fill their computer with porn.... make sure it's in EVERY file and directory.
77
cut 1 leg off of every chair they own
78
shave their cat
79
pour honey all over their front porch steps.....
80
do "cookies" on their front lawn with a tractor.
81
date their daughter
82
date their wife!
83
put dishsoap in the pool filter
84
poop on their barbeque
85
pour epoxy in their sink and tub drains.
86
place large crosses in their driveway and light on fire.... preferably during a full moon.
87
burn "666" into their front lawn
88
change all of their locks while they are out.
89
turn their fridge on high, turn freezer down to low
90
remove half of the vinyl siding from their house... top or bottom... your choice. be creative :)
91
spray glue on remaining vinyl siding and blow grass cuttings onto the glue. Let dry.
92
crush some poison ivy.... spread liberally onto their toilet seat.
93
turn off the master water feed to their house.
94
call power company, pretend to be your neighbour... and cancel their service.
95
do the same with the phone, cable, etc....
96
sell their identity to Russian spammers.
97
plant weed ...the GOOD stuff I mean....... in their garden...hell.. all over their property. Call cops.
98
collect roadkill, deposit in their driveway.
99
switch the order of their spark plug wires in their vehicle. :)
100
place a few dead skunks in their car while they are working... just to let it bake a little.
101
This list is now retired, see the next incarnation, "ways to REALLY piss off your neighbor!"
Yo, dude. You are really getting into this list making. Keep up the good work. And, I'm really glad I don't live next door to you.
lol... thanks Pam.... i'm a blogger with WAY too much time!! No.. it's all fun!!
This place is awesome!
:)
This place is awesome!
:)
get a yappy little dog that barks every time you leave him or her in the back yard. wait a minute.....uh oh.
Fail to inform your dog Sadie, that she is NOT to eat the neighbor's pet rooster they had just won at the county fair.
put a thumbtack in their cable that enters the house. It will leave a snowy picture, but it won't go completely out. Then after a few days, take it out. Then put it back in. You will see the cable guy make multiple visits to the house. It's so freaking funny.
Mess with the sprinkler timer;
Have 5 vehicles and 2 kids with friends with more vehicles and Park them up and down the street;
Put your dog's poo in their yard.
Invite them for dinner, then when they arrive, with a prepared dish and wine, tell them they have the wrong date.
Have 5 vehicles and 2 kids with friends with more vehicles and Park them up and down the street;
Put your dog's poo in their yard.
Invite them for dinner, then when they arrive, with a prepared dish and wine, tell them they have the wrong date.
Wow have you actually done any of these?
Thanks for the extra ideas everybody... keep em' coming!!
Sorry bout' the posters Pam :)
After I used the posters to start a bon fire. SEE.... Bush is good for something at least!
Sorry bout' the posters Pam :)
After I used the posters to start a bon fire. SEE.... Bush is good for something at least!
Maybe we should email this list to your neighbors so they have a fighting chance...
My, my, this list makes me wonder what your neighbors ever did to you to get you so riled up!!! Yikes!
Impressive! I have no doubt you could do another 100 but I suspect your neighbors are gone by now! :)
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