WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUPID, READ THIS
By 
Introduction
You know how easy to screwup when speaking in front of a crowd perhaps because of a little nervousness. Words just fall out of your mouth, without any forthought. Check these gems out.
1
Enter List Item
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .
2
Enter List Item
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
3
Enter List Item
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .
important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .
4
Enter List Item
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett,
University? of Kentucky basketball forward .
of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett,
University? of Kentucky basketball forward .
5
Enter List Item
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC .
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC .
6
Enter List Item
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.
our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.
7
Enter List Item
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
8
Enter List Item
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
9
Enter List Item
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
10
Enter List Item
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle
-- Dan Quayle
11
Enter List Item
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca
clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca
12
Enter List Item
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
13
Enter List Item
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .
certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .
14
Enter List Item
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
--Bill Clinton, President
15
Enter List Item
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
16
Enter List Item
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
17
Enter List Item
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
This is a very cute list. I just checked, and this exact list (word for word)appears on the Internet 554 times. Now, it is 555 times. Unfortunately, about 80% of the attributions are total bullshit. Nobody ever said a most of these, and somebody different said some of them. #15 for example was said by George Bush, #8 was said by Yogi Berra. You need to check stuff out before you put it up. Especially with a title like this.
I recommend: http://www.snopes.com/
This sort of a pet peeve of mine. You've been warned.
I recommend: http://www.snopes.com/
This sort of a pet peeve of mine. You've been warned.
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By
1 Comment