Things to Do When Waiting as a Witness at an Order of Protection Hearing
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Introduction
Unfortunate circumstance? Yes, of course. Yet, something that needs to be done in the eyes of the law. It may sound like a boring day, and well, it is. Stuck for a few hours today, we needed something to do, and well, we're a creative bunch.
1
Forget about rummaging in your purse or pockets for something to do. Those have already been emptied out going through security. Apparently there's a big scare of people bringing the whole building down with a plastic fork and a can of hairspray.
2
Try and figure out the story of all these other people in court and why they might be needing an order of protection. Orders of protection can only be arranged between family members and people that were formerly dating, so it makes it quite interesting.
3
When the bailiff chews you out for talking, even though it was barely even at the level of a whisper, get out your notepad and write notes like you're back in high school. Just leave out the BFF and survey on how you would rate the guys in the room.
4
Take bets on if the 80 year old bailiff will keel over at any time during the hearing.
5
More on the bailiff, count the flakes of dandruff on his red blazer.
6
Ask the 60 year old sheriff's deputy sitting in the corner if he has a bullet in his pocket and if he plans to nip it, nip it, nip it in the bud.
7
Leap into the room brandishing a gun saying no one there needs orders of protection. You'll protect them all.
8
Ask everyone to sing Some Kind of Wonderful (Can I Get a Witness) in a round with you.
9
Get an old cell phone and place it underneath a seat somewhere, and keep calling it every so often, then hanging up, so that the judge keeps stopping the proceedings threatening to take all cell phones away.
10
When you're finally cleared to leave, throw open the doors and yell, "Thank God almighty; we're free at last."
This sounds very similar to my stint as a Victim's Advocate; sitting around the courtroom. It looks so much more interesting on TV than it ever really is. In Texas County, MO the bailiff and deputy are the same guy.
Very clever, that #9. That has potential for several situations!
play rock, paper, scissors or maybe try a rousing round of tic-tac-toe on that paper you're passing back and forth! Thanks for the tips, LauraBelle! Glad you made it through the day.
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