More reasons why I didn't move kathybelle's piano last weekend.
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Introduction
Well, it has been an interesting weekend :)
It took longer than expected to wash my hair.
There was this one hair that wouldn't come clean....... I was in the shower for hours!
I was fending off the wildlife.
By my last count, there was at least 3 squadrons of raccoons that tried to take me out over the weekend. The had Flying Squirrels brought in for air support, and moles digging under my feet like submarines.
I fought them back, it was a grim struggle.
I fought them back, it was a grim struggle.
I was "questioned" at the border.
Lets just say it took a while to put my car back together and if you ever see a whole box of rubber gloves during a Customs interrogation, they don't plan on asking many question.
I had to move a shipment of "hunny"
Winnie came by, desperate as ever, lookin for a fix. I gave him enough "hunny" to get him through the week hopefully.
I had 4 flat tires on my car.
What a coincidence... they seemed to lose all of their air.. they were fine till I pulled the knife out of em'....
I forgot her address..
Actually, I forgot to ask.. and she never told me.
I made it as far as Gratefuldaisy's.......
Then we got drunk. She plays a mean game of scrabble too.
I was kidnapped by aliens...
They wanted to know why I hated raccoons so much. They also wanted my marinara recipe. They never got it.
I knocked on her door for an hour...
no one answered... so I came back home.
Colin and I spent Saturday biking.
Sorry kathybelle.... the weather was too nice and it was too far to bike to your house.
I had heartburn and no rolaids.
I got a bikini wax.
We did have fun didn't we, Raant? I just love it when I draw the Q and the Z at the same time, AND I get to use them where there is a triple word score. I'm glad you brought your bass along too. It was cool when you were jamming with my husband and son. Of course, things did get kind of loud because my son likes to crank the amp up as high as it will go, and then the police came when the neighbors complained. That's OK though because you've given me LOTS of ways to deal with unfriendly neighbors.
http://www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/Ways_to_piss_off_your_n
eighbour_1
http://www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/ways_to_REALLY_piss_off
_your_neighbor_1
Luckily the Bryan police hadn't heard about your little "run-in" with the border patrol, or things might have gotten a lot more "out of hand" than they did.
You might want to keep it kind of quiet though about you coming to my house. Kathybelle seems pretty miffed that nobody showed up to move that monstrosity of a piano of hers. But sheesh, with those raccoons crawling all over her house, what does she expect?! She was pretty bent out of shape, so I gave her some lame excuse about why we weren't there. She seems to have bought it. By the way, you know you can buy some stuff that smells like coyote urine to put around outside your door that is supposed to help keep the raccoons and other critters away. Of course,then you have a home that smells like coyote urine, and who wants that?!! Sorry to hear about the tires on your Cavalier. Wonder how that could have happened? Oh, and when you were here, you seemed to have a kind of strange green glow about you, Raant. Are you feeling OK?
http://www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/Ways_to_piss_off_your_n
eighbour_1
http://www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/ways_to_REALLY_piss_off
_your_neighbor_1
Luckily the Bryan police hadn't heard about your little "run-in" with the border patrol, or things might have gotten a lot more "out of hand" than they did.
You might want to keep it kind of quiet though about you coming to my house. Kathybelle seems pretty miffed that nobody showed up to move that monstrosity of a piano of hers. But sheesh, with those raccoons crawling all over her house, what does she expect?! She was pretty bent out of shape, so I gave her some lame excuse about why we weren't there. She seems to have bought it. By the way, you know you can buy some stuff that smells like coyote urine to put around outside your door that is supposed to help keep the raccoons and other critters away. Of course,then you have a home that smells like coyote urine, and who wants that?!! Sorry to hear about the tires on your Cavalier. Wonder how that could have happened? Oh, and when you were here, you seemed to have a kind of strange green glow about you, Raant. Are you feeling OK?
Thanks for the huuuunnny, Raaaaant. It was realllly good. I realllly liked the brownies you gave me too. I never tasted any quite like thooose before. They were rumtum tummy in my yummy...oopsssss, that didn't sound right. I ate the whole panful, but I'm still hungry. My tum rum rumbly is still yumbly. Give me some more brownies like thooooose brow, brow, brownies, and I can call off those bandit raccoons and flying squirrels and moles. I live in the woods you knooooooow. Those animals are my neighbors. Why..why...why do you look so greeeeeeen, Mr. Raaaaant?
AND I THOUGHT ALL THE LAME EXCUSES WERE IN THE LAST LIST!
I have decided to forgive you, raant and you, daisy for the following reasons...
1. My therapist says to begin the healing, I must forgive...
2. The mental image of a daisydrunk gave me a giggle.
3. The bikini wax image necessitated an emergency IV infusion of amnesia-inducing drugs.
And finally...
4. Apparently, I do not have a piano.
I just thought I did.
The therapist says that is not uncommon. Many people often think they have a piano, and they don't.
I have decided to forgive you, raant and you, daisy for the following reasons...
1. My therapist says to begin the healing, I must forgive...
2. The mental image of a daisydrunk gave me a giggle.
3. The bikini wax image necessitated an emergency IV infusion of amnesia-inducing drugs.
And finally...
4. Apparently, I do not have a piano.
I just thought I did.
The therapist says that is not uncommon. Many people often think they have a piano, and they don't.
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