Reasons I can't move kathybelle's piano this weekend!!
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Introduction
Sorry kathybelle.... but let me explain.....
I'm still not sure if the piano is in tune
I have to wash my hair :)
The girls have scared me with tales of KB's cooking
www.onmylist.com/category/food_drink/Inedible_Edi
I am curious about the ingredients..... not necessarily terrified just yet..... just curious ;)
I need to build a bomb shelter.
www.onmylist.com/category/rants_tangents/WORLD_WA…
After watching the news and reading olhippie's ongoing WWIII list, it might not be a bad idea!
My shitty Chevy Cavalier just won't make it that far....
I might get through Maine and New Hampshire.... maybe Massachusetts.... but after that I might need to hitchhike. UNLESS I call KB from where I break down and you come and pick me up. If I make it as far as Foxborough... I may just stay for a Patriots game or two.
I would never get there by Saturday....
Unless I get a plane ticket, which means I need some serious $$$$. Even if I rented a Porsche and drive Cannonball Run style... it isn't gonna happen.
What about Sunday?
That's football day. I will need your tv, couch, fridge, bathroom and living room for the whole day... and access to pizza and Heineken.
If I moved the piano on Saturday, that means I would be on the road traveling back on Sunday... and I can't have that!!
You will have to put up with me till Monday.
Don't be scared.. I'm housetrained :)
Do you play crib?
If I moved the piano on Saturday, that means I would be on the road traveling back on Sunday... and I can't have that!!
You will have to put up with me till Monday.
Don't be scared.. I'm housetrained :)
Do you play crib?
I might not get across the border......
The Homeland Security people might want a word or two with me about my thoughts and rantings when it comes to Prez. Bush and his lackies.
Between here and my blog (especially my blog), they might arrest me on some bullshit charge.... it wouldn't surprise me.
Between here and my blog (especially my blog), they might arrest me on some bullshit charge.... it wouldn't surprise me.
It would take two days just to clean my car out.....
www.onmylist.com/category/miscellaneous/Things_I_…
These two links explain it all.... http://www.onmylist.com/category/autos/Crap_I_found_in_the_trunk_of_my
_car_1
_car_1
You don't have a Tim Horton's.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hortons
I cannot go without a Tim's coffee for more than 24 hours or I turn into a gargoyle. Trust me... it's ugly. Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks don't cut the mustard, there is no comparison.
Well, gooooooood grief! and after I dug it out from beneath ALL that junk.
Here are reasons why you should reconsider...
1. The drying time for your hair is under a minute.
2. Our oven is still broken, but I am getting the bugs worked out of my grilling skills.
3. The hills and valleys, creeks and caves down here will suffice nicely in case of the need for an immediate bomb shelter.
4. The local posses are busy with meth lab and domestic disputes. They will not find the border patrol alarm until the middle of next week.
5. We now have MOOSE COFEE! - Our town's first coffee shop where you can pay $4 for a cup of coffee!! (It is 35c at the downtown Forbes Drugstore)
6. We no longer have 1.5 channels!!! With our recent caving-in to satellite progress we are in sports-show heaven..and hell.
But, in fairness to the risks you would take - running from the law, pushing your car 1,200 miles, having a wet head for .5 seconds and dealing with the toxic waste managment involved with cleaning out your car - I must tell you...
We have many raccoons here.
The piano is out of tune.
Here are reasons why you should reconsider...
1. The drying time for your hair is under a minute.
2. Our oven is still broken, but I am getting the bugs worked out of my grilling skills.
3. The hills and valleys, creeks and caves down here will suffice nicely in case of the need for an immediate bomb shelter.
4. The local posses are busy with meth lab and domestic disputes. They will not find the border patrol alarm until the middle of next week.
5. We now have MOOSE COFEE! - Our town's first coffee shop where you can pay $4 for a cup of coffee!! (It is 35c at the downtown Forbes Drugstore)
6. We no longer have 1.5 channels!!! With our recent caving-in to satellite progress we are in sports-show heaven..and hell.
But, in fairness to the risks you would take - running from the law, pushing your car 1,200 miles, having a wet head for .5 seconds and dealing with the toxic waste managment involved with cleaning out your car - I must tell you...
We have many raccoons here.
The piano is out of tune.
Did the raccoons get into the piano?
Just in case he changes his minds and decides to risk it all to help a needy OMLer; you can buy Tim Hortons coffee here.
http://www.timhortons.com/en/menu/menu_merchandise.html
Just in case he changes his minds and decides to risk it all to help a needy OMLer; you can buy Tim Hortons coffee here.
http://www.timhortons.com/en/menu/menu_merchandise.html
You guys are hilarious :) Only 1200 miles? Maybe the old chevy would get there :)
Details. Details. Here we go again.
Mapquest: Total Est. Time: 30 hours, 54 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2163.87 miles (give or take 3 or 400 miles)
What is a few extra 1,000 miles among OMLister friends???????
Mapquest: Total Est. Time: 30 hours, 54 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2163.87 miles (give or take 3 or 400 miles)
What is a few extra 1,000 miles among OMLister friends???????
2163 miles... damn... maybe the old car wouldn't get there. Hmmmmmmm.... well then, you are gonna have to come and get me.
WHAT?
It is not any shorter from here to there than there to here.
AND, you can pick up mr and mrs daisy on your way down.
Daisy is running from the law.
It is not any shorter from here to there than there to here.
AND, you can pick up mr and mrs daisy on your way down.
Daisy is running from the law.
I think you better just stay in Canada tomorrow, Raant. KB has something up her sleeve (from the looks of her house, it is probably a baby raccoon!). It is true, she and Pam have turned me in to the authorities on some kind of trumped up charges. They muttered something about theft or breaking and entering or invasion of privacy or something like that. I am completely innocent. It is all lies, nothing but lies. My family and I have had to go into hiding until this whole thing blows over. Now Mr. Daisy is mad at me because the safe house we are in doesn't have a TV, and he is worried that he will miss the big game tomorrow night. I'm telling you if you go to KB's house, it will mean nothing but trouble for you. You'll go home to Canada covered in raccoon bites and scratches, you know you're going to throw your back out trying to move that piano (it's really big and really heavy!), you're going to end up with food poisoning from what KB feeds you, and you'll probably have to get rabies shots because of the raccoon bites. Not to mention the wear and tear on your beloved Cavalier and the cost of the gas to get there. Just take my advice, and stay home!! Believe me, you'll be glad you did.
I got it....gratefuldaisy can fend off the raccoons while I get the piano moved!! This might work out after all.... now all I need is a taste tester for the food.... hmmmmm..... Pam, you free this weekend? Hungry?? :)
Hey... that's my excuse Pam! Wait.... we can tell tehm that you are washing my hair!! That will get both of us out of a jam!! Shhhhh... it's our little secret ;)
All day.
All day, I sat by the piano, leaving only to refill the raccoons' food dish three times.
In the event daisy, mrdaisy, pam and raant would appear I even grilled chocolate chip cookies.
I had to eat them all-
down to the last charred crumb.
All day, I sat by the piano, leaving only to refill the raccoons' food dish three times.
In the event daisy, mrdaisy, pam and raant would appear I even grilled chocolate chip cookies.
I had to eat them all-
down to the last charred crumb.
So sorry to stand you up, Kathybelle. I thought Raant was going to stop by here to pick up Mr. Daisy and I, but he never showed. We kept watching for the Chevy Cavalier, but it never came. No phone call, nothing. Maybe something has happened to him. I think those shaggy Canadian raccoons must have come back with friends as reinforcements and carried him off into the woods.
It bugs me to know I missed out on your "special" cookies. Um....are you sure that it was chocolate chips that you put into the cookies you made? Did you check to see if any of the "chips" had legs? And how are you feeling today? Are you doing OK. Got butterflies in your stomach? Should we be calling 911 or anything?
It bugs me to know I missed out on your "special" cookies. Um....are you sure that it was chocolate chips that you put into the cookies you made? Did you check to see if any of the "chips" had legs? And how are you feeling today? Are you doing OK. Got butterflies in your stomach? Should we be calling 911 or anything?
I am feeling depressed.
It will probably take months of therapy, medication and chocolate to overcome my shattered confidence in piano movers.
It will probably take months of therapy, medication and chocolate to overcome my shattered confidence in piano movers.
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