“10 reasons you were smart not to buy an I-Phone”
By JohnH
394 days ago
Updated 346 days ago
2213 Views
Introduction
Let’s be honest with each other, shall we? The sweetest new tech toy of this season has to be Steve Jobs new pride and joy. If you’re anything like me, (and you if you are reading this, you probably are) you’ve happened to be leisurely sauntering by an Apple store and found yourself suddenly at one of the many iPhone consoles taking pictures of yourself, texting a buddy or simply wondering how hard it would be to cut that little security wire and walk out of the store.
No matter how you slice it, most tech savvy people in this day and age (at least the ones who have 599.95 to blow on a tri-coder) have been seriously debating on whether or not to take the plunge. Sure there’s considerations to be weighed, such as mandatory AT&T service, price, and of course the threat of being attacked at the bar by every douchbag and drunken college chick screaming “Is that an I-Phone? Can I touch it?” Regardless, many of you out there have taken the plunge. But many more, such as myself, have not. And it’s to you I speak, the individual, the lone wolf, the frugal, he who said, “Lets wait, I’m sure I have something else to spend 600 bucks on.” Because for all the hype, the fan fair, the cool commercials there are at least ten good reasons not to purchase an I phone, and why YOU were smart enough to not buy one.
Horrible battery life:
The iPhones talk time was originally rated by Apple at 8 hours, and 6 hours of Internet use by Wi-Fi. Well, WirelessInfo, who are trusted members of the cell community, report the iPhone's battery life, while talking and browsing, is 4 hours and 3 minutes of voice, and 3 hours and 11 minutes using the browser. That’s almost exactly HALF of what was projected. Now I’m all for a magic phone that can do everything and make my life a better, happier place, but I have to ask, what is the point of a cell phone who’s battery life doesn’t even last long enough for a full day at the office?
There’s no secondary camera for self portraits:
I know its vain to point this out, but really, can thousands of teenagers on my space be wrong? I mean, as far as I can tell cell phones are good for 3 things to the youth of today: 1. Calling people and staying in touch. 2. Texting each other in a language indecipherable to anyone over 35 and 3. Taking foolish and naughty pictures of oneself in the bathroom. In this modern age, who is Apple to deprive our young (and perhaps some surprisingly vain writers) of the ability to take the perfect picture of themselves doing something stupid or dirty. For shame.
The texting is incredibly annoying:
When I saw the iPhone with its tilting sensitivity for typing I thought to myself “Perfect, a phone that can be turned sideways and provide me with a full keyboard.” And guess what, I was wrong. First of all, you can tilt the phone sideways to type, but ONLY for the browser. If you want to text, you have to keep the phone upright. Secondly, a full keyboard does display even in the upright position, however, the punctuations don’t appear on the main keyboard screen. Want to end a sentence with a question mark? Open another MENU screen! Oh, that’s really convenient! (Sarcasm should be evident.). Third and most importantly, have you ever actually tried to TEXT on one of those things? Something I always forget is how much I actually use my sense of touch when I’m typing. Unfortunately, due to graphical nature of the iPhone touch screen, you can’t actually feel what you’re doing, so when you want to type an N you constantly hit M or B, again and again… and again.
You can’t use your MP3s as ring tones:
People say to me all the time (and when I say people I mean myself) “Wouldn’t it be great to have a phone that was an mp3 player? Then I could relentlessly annoy my friends, coworkers, and perfect strangers by assigning all 200 people on my phone list a different song when they call me, just to feel special.” Well let me answer that question, yes it would be awesome and NO you can’t do it on your iPhone. Your limited to 25 ring tones, you can’t use your MP3’s installed on your 6 or 8 gig phone and you have to download all ring tones from iTunes. Yuck.
EDGE Network is too slow for convenient internet browsing:
I have heard a lot of people say AT&T are idiots. Not me, I didn’t say that, but I have heard people say that emphatically and with purpose. Now, you would think if you were going to buy the exclusive rights to a phone whose main “gimmick” was fantastic internet connectivity you would make sure your online network wasn’t as slow as say, a turtle… stuck in tar… with an anvil on it’s back. Unfortunately for the people paying 120 dollars a month for special everything connectivity from AT&T, many people have been reporting that the “blissful” internet connectivity of the iPhone is slow… as molasses… in January. Of course those of us who have had the pleasure of using the EDGE network in the past already knew this.
Just because you bought it doesn’t mean it will work:
So you say to yourself, “Hey, 600 bucks isn’t that much, and heck I don’t mind spending over 100 bucks a month for my cell phone bill, I’m just made of money!” So you buy yourself an iPhone, get it home, lovingly plug it in, boot up iTunes and… it doesn’t work. Then you double over and cry. That's because quite a few people have had serious issues setting up the iPhone with AT&T/Cingular network on iTunes. Apparently in the six months leading up to launch it never occurred to AT&T that a bunch of people were going to be logging on at once and it might overload their system. In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, AT&T are idiots.
No third party applications allowed on the iPhone:
What does this mean? Why should you care? I mean, the iPhone already does everything right? Takes calls, connects to the internet, delivers babies, makes Chuck Norris cry, why would you need silly third party app’s? Well, if you can’t run third party app’s that means you can’t run AIM, or Yahoo Instant Messenger, or Trilian. Sure there are already people out there creating hacks to do this through Safari, but for 600 bucks, I expect to be able to IM my friends on AIM, YAHOO, IRQ or anywhere else I want without going through the trouble to pull up the browser, log on to the internet application and pull up the instant messenger, all on the previously referenced EDGE internet network which is as slow… as… possible.
You can’t turn on the phone if you don’t buy the service:
So you dropped 600 dollars on a phone but not sure if you want to pay Cingular/AT@T 120 bucks a month for full service? Guess what, you can’t even play with the phone! That’s right, the iPhone is totally crippled and locked down unless you have already signed up for the service. That means making a commitment to a provider for at least a year, and if you don’t, you can’t play with the functionality, load it up with mp3’s or even play that ultra high tech Chess game that was kindly included with the package.
The Second generation iPhone is already in the works:
And its substantially cheaper! The Chinese-language periodical Commercial Times, based in Taiwan, featured a recent report about Taiwan-based Wintek receiving touch screen panel orders from Apple for its second-generation iPhone. The reports claim that this new iPhone will begin shipping in September for around $249 to $299, and they have already started small batches of test production for these new phones. That’s right, 299$ ladies and gentlemen. Hey, don’t feel bad for the people who paid $600 for there phone, feel bad for the people who paid about a billion for one on E-bay.
One in ten of the initial iPhones bought was defective!
Now you would think a new, half as expensive version of the same product six months later would be the best reason possible not to buy an iPhone right? Well you would be wrong. For all these flaws, at least these people have sleek, sexy, babe magnet iPhones, ready to dazzle with there sexy touch screens and there lights and colors. However not everyone was so lucky because…About one in ten of the initial iPhones bought was defective! Really sucks for the people who were waiting in line nine hours, huh? After all that waiting and anticipation, one out of ten were sent home with a 600 dollar, sleek, shiny brick. Now that’s Quality!
Can you say Free Google Phone:
mashable.com/2007/08/02/google-mobile-handset/
This ones for Cory. Looks like Google is already looking to take the the wind (and the sales) out of Apples sexy money trap. It has come to light that not ONLY has a Google (through software company Android) been working on and perhaps even finished a open source Linux based operating system for a new iPhone like hand held, but the idea is for Google to release an add based FREE CELL PHONE. Thats right kids, this means free calls, free texting and free internet access. Obviously taking an idea or two from inexperienced UK upstart Bylk, the phone would be purchased and then the customer would receive free service in return for viewing purchased adds from Google sponsers. Now I hate adds as much as everyone else, but for a free iPhone with an open source OS, I could deal.
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