Why we won't forget Grandma
By 
Introduction
My husband (before he was my husband) lived for a short time with his grandmother. She was in the habit of speaking her mind, as those who reach the age of 90, will do. There were also little sayings that she often repeated for certain occasions. Although she passed away several years ago, her words live on in our heads. I hope when I am gone that I will leave a few witty gems behind for others to remember me by as well.
1
"I hate black cars"
A friend of ours was visiting and talking about the new car that he had just bought. It was evident that he was quite excited about his purchase. He talked at great length explaining what a good deal he had received, detailing what features the car had, and how pleased he was with the vehicle.
"What color is it?" asked Grandma.
"Black," came the friend's reply.
"I hate black cars," Grandma said, summarily dismissing the entire conversation.
Our friend was so taken aback, he was rendered speechless.
To this day if my husband or I see a black car, one of us will say, "I hate black cars," and the entire episode will flash back in our minds including the look of utter surprise that came over our friend's face.
"What color is it?" asked Grandma.
"Black," came the friend's reply.
"I hate black cars," Grandma said, summarily dismissing the entire conversation.
Our friend was so taken aback, he was rendered speechless.
To this day if my husband or I see a black car, one of us will say, "I hate black cars," and the entire episode will flash back in our minds including the look of utter surprise that came over our friend's face.
2
"Naked men hitting each other---it just turns my stomach."
While watching TV one day with Grandma, husband had the remote in hand, surfing, and happened to land on a channel that was broadcasting a boxing match. Grandma looked up from the crossword puzzle she was working and said, "Change the channel. Naked men hitting each other---it just turns my stomach."
3
"Look at this! Look at this!"
Grandma went away for about a week to visit her sister leaving the upkeep of the house in my husband's hands. She happened to return home while husband was at work. She greeted him as he walked in the door, not with "Hello, I'm back," or "I'm home," or "I missed you," but with the angry words, "Look at this! Look at this!" She was shaking a dust cloth in his face that was covered with a thick layer of dust. Apparently, Grandma wasn't pleased with husband's housekeeping while she had been gone. So now if dust starts to accumulate a bit too much around our house, one of us will be sure to say, "Look at this! Look at this!"
4
"Never pass up a chance to eat or go to the bathroom.....
because you never know when you'll have the next opportunity."
5
"Eat what you can and can what you can't."
Grandma said this often in the summertime when garden produce was a bit too plentiful, advising us to preserve leftover fruits and vegetables to save for the winter time.
6
"Just tell them don't, and they won't."
Grandma used to tell us of a cousin she had who was quick to criticize when parents were unable to control their unruly children. Her cousin would take the parents of misbehaving children to task, saying, "Why don't you just tell them don't, and they won't." Then Grandma would slyly add, "Of course, she had no children of her own."
7
"We'll just take what they give us."
This is something Grandma said whenever someone complained about the weather.
8
"My sufficiency has been surrensified."
listserv.linguistlist.org/cgi-bin/wa?A2=ind0206b&…
This is something I had never heard of, but Grandma seemed to say it after nearly every big holiday meal, and then she would chuckle. It meant she was full and couldn't eat another bite.
9
"Nothing but fat people eating greasy food."
After our recent visit to the fair, I recalled a couple more things that my husband's Grandma said that have stayed with us. My husband and I had plans to attend a local street festival of some sort one day. Thinking that Grandma might like to go as well, we invited her to join us.
Her reply was, "Why would I want to go there? Nothing but fat people eating greasy food!"
We left Grandma at home that day.
Anytime a carnival, street festival, or fair comes along now though, we think of Grandma.
Her reply was, "Why would I want to go there? Nothing but fat people eating greasy food!"
We left Grandma at home that day.
Anytime a carnival, street festival, or fair comes along now though, we think of Grandma.
10
"Five or five thirty!"
One day Grandma was in the kitchen deciding what to fix for supper. She told my husband that they could eat whenever he wanted because she had no plans for the evening. My husband who had eaten a late lunch that day said,
"Ok, well why don't we eat around 7:00."
Grandma rolled her eyes, gave him an exasperated sigh, and said, "Five or five thirty!"
"Ok, well why don't we eat around 7:00."
Grandma rolled her eyes, gave him an exasperated sigh, and said, "Five or five thirty!"
11
"Charge it to the dust and let the rain settle it."
This was her way of saying, "It's on me." If Grandma bought you lunch and you offered to pay her back, this is how she would respond.
12
"Mark it on ice."
This is very similar to #11. If you owed Grandma something, this was how she wanted you to keep track of the debt. Obviously, if you mark it on the ice, the ice will melt and the record of the debt will be gone. She was a very generous soul.
My grandma's words, too, had a profound effect on me.
I have a list. I will update it so the grandmas can "talk!"
Thanks! :)
I have a list. I will update it so the grandmas can "talk!"
Thanks! :)
Now, I'm Grandma jealous.
Grandma #1 - Mom's mother died when she was 10
Grandma # 2 - Mom's stepmother died before she married.
Grandma #3 - Dad's mom; smelled like Vicks, hated kids
Grandma # 4 - Ahhh, my Gramma Whitey. Dad's step mom.
She was a hoot. She worked as a nurse in the CA gold fields in the early 1900s. They killed their own meat and traded gold dust for staples. I have picture of her with the mountain lions she killed. She cheated at poker, worked on a fire watch tower in the San Diego area and every morning knocked the rattle snakes off the tower stairs with her broom, she supplemented their Social Security with betting on the horses at the Agua Caliente track in Tijuana and did quite well. I don't have any sayings that she taught me other than, "oh, shit" which I got slapped by my mother. It was always interesting when Gramma Whitey came to visit in her yellow 1967 Mustang.
Grandma #1 - Mom's mother died when she was 10
Grandma # 2 - Mom's stepmother died before she married.
Grandma #3 - Dad's mom; smelled like Vicks, hated kids
Grandma # 4 - Ahhh, my Gramma Whitey. Dad's step mom.
She was a hoot. She worked as a nurse in the CA gold fields in the early 1900s. They killed their own meat and traded gold dust for staples. I have picture of her with the mountain lions she killed. She cheated at poker, worked on a fire watch tower in the San Diego area and every morning knocked the rattle snakes off the tower stairs with her broom, she supplemented their Social Security with betting on the horses at the Agua Caliente track in Tijuana and did quite well. I don't have any sayings that she taught me other than, "oh, shit" which I got slapped by my mother. It was always interesting when Gramma Whitey came to visit in her yellow 1967 Mustang.
Hey Kathybelle, I'll look forward to your updated list. And Pam, your Gramma Whitey sounds like she was quite a character. Mountain lions? Rattle snakes? Sounds like she could fend for herself, that's for sure! :)
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By 
By
4 Comments