Jezebel Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Snap Judgment: Angelina Jolie Looks A Wee Bit Happier, Healther

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[New York, September 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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Dirt Bag: Judge To Britney: Quit Drinking & Learn To Parent

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The judge in Britney Spears' custody case says "there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Britney)." He's ordered Britney "to undergo testing for the...

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Evening Purge: Nebraska Politico Sues God, And Other Shit To Be Thankful For

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Well, some loony state senator in Nebraska sure took the wind out of my sails tonight and fucking sued God. Why didn't I think of that? His lawsuit, seeking an injunction commanding God to cease...

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Bad Influences: You know that picture of Amy Winehouse we ...

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You know that picture of Amy Winehouse we put up half an hour ago? Maybe we shouldn't have published it. Women like Winehouse and Kate Moss are being blamed for a rise in drinking among teenage...

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Clips: Vagina Power: Dick Wars

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newVideoPlayer("vaginadick_gawker.flv", 475, 376);

Remember the vagina power lady Alexyss Tylor? She's the one that was all, "dick will make you slap somebody." Anyway, this is one of her most...

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Snap Judgment: Yeah, Amy Winehouse Looks Whack. So What? We Look Worse While Blogging

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[London, September 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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Fashion Victims: Donatella Versace's Not-So-Gilded Designer Age

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At twelve, Donatella had her first highlights-- "'Lighter and lighter and lighter,' I told them!" she recalled. At fourteen, she was suspended from school for wearing eyeliner to rival Cleopatra's;...

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Some Guys Have All The Luck: Here's a story so cliché it's actually true: ...

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Here's a story so cliché it's actually true: a man and a woman break up. The woman wallows in misery; the man buys a flashy red sports car or moves to Brazil. Sound familiar? A report in Science...

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Outta Sight: Scientists Find We Can't Stop Looking At Hot People Because They're So Damn Hot

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Jon Maner, an assistant professor of psychology at the Florida State University, has published a paper called "Can't Take My Eyes Off You: Attentional Adhesion to Mates and Rivals," reports Science...

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Snap Judgment: Keri Russell's Infant Son Practices Best Cell-Phone Grip

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[Los Angeles, September 18. Image via Flynet]

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Important Holidays: So Give It Up, Why Are We Still Single?

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It is Unmarried & Single Americans Week, and as it happens, it is also my birthday this week, which will commemorate another year I have lived on this earth as an unmarried & single person, along...

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Ass Transit: Seattle has a new trolley line: South Lake ...

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Seattle has a new trolley line: South Lake Union Trolley, aka SLUT, reports CBS News. Local business Kapow! Coffee made T-shirts with the slogan "Ride the SLUT," which sold out in days. Jerry...

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Traffic Violations: Let Saudi Women Drive And Soon They'll Be Humping Oil-Slicked Mechanics

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It sounds like the beginning of a sexist or racist joke: Saudi Arabian women can't drive. But the truth is they're banned from doing so. The Committee of Demanders of Women's Right to Drive is...

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Snap Judgment: Sean Penn: Sunburned Or Stoned?

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And yes, we see Eddie Vedder in the background.

[Beverly Hills, September 17. Image via x17]

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Crap Email From A Dude: Dear Ally, I Love You Only Slightly More Than I Will Tomorrow

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Max sent Ally this email Monday, and its stark minimalism hit us in an unusual place. There is no purple prose, no obfuscation, no layers of excuse-making and therapyspeak, no eccentric-but-telling...

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Second-wave Skinnies: From a Houston Chronicle profile of Gloria ...

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From a Houston Chronicle profile of Gloria Steinem: "Fans of the writer and feminist organizer will be glad to know she's still a fierce advocate of gender equality. She's still outrageous. And...

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The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly: London Fashion Week: Slightly Tailored, Slightly Bound

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We're about halfway through London Fashion Week, and though we're not there in the flesh, some of us are there in spirit. [Meaning, Jennifer. -Ed.]After taking a gander at what's shown so far, we're...

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Snap Judgment: Anna Wintour: The Only One Wearing White At Isabella Blow's Memorial

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[London, England; Sept. 18. Image via FilmMagic.]

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Thanks For The Mammaries: 'US Weekly's' Ken Baker Was A Nice Guy, Back When He Still Lactated

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Yesterday's post on Us Weekly West Coast executive editor Ken Baker, the worst boss in America, drew many comments and a few phone calls from former co-workers. Once upon a time, you see, Ken was a...

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Water Sports: At some point in 4th grade some girl told ...

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At some point in 4th grade some girl told us you couldn't get pregnant if you had sex in a Jacuzzi. Thankfully we realized that girl was an idiot. But: Dudes who hang out in hot tubs have impaired...

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Ladymag Lookback: 30 Years of 'Cosmo' Ads: Scents, Spirits, Cigarettes & Sex

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Yesterday, we kicked off our first Ladymag Lookback with a look at the differences in cover models and cover lines from three decades of Cosmopolitan: October '77, '87, '97, and '07. Today we're...

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Snap Judgment: Mariska Hargitay's Son Has Bigger Eyebrows Than We Do

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[Los Angeles, CA; Sept. 17. Image via Splash.]

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Trash TV: 'The Pick Up Artist': Now They're Insulting The Strippers

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You know the term "don't bullshit a bullshitter"? I couldn't stop thinking that when I watched last night's episode of The Pick Up Artist, in...

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Bag Ladies: Assuming an alternate stance to our barf ...

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Assuming an alternate stance to our barf bag route, a woman in London is giving out well-balanced bagged lunches to models outside of the major show venues during London Fashion Week: "They contain a...

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Today In Catalogs: Delia's Deals: A Guilty Pleasure For The Young At Heart

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We're not enrolled in any kind of school or university, but we still want to do our back-to-"cool" shopping the way teens do it: the Delia's catalog! There's so much cute stuff at great prices, it...

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Snap Judgment: Chin Up, Kelly...You Look Gorgeous

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[London, September 17. Image via Splash]

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Maghag: Rachel Zoe Transforms 'Teen Vogue' Intern Into It Girl You've Never Heard Of

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By now you have probably heard that Anna Wintour has tacitly ceded the title of Most Important Person In A Relatively Unimportant Industry to Rachel Zoe. There is no better evidence of this than the...

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Big Love: Though we've long suspected that the biggest ...

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Though we've long suspected that the biggest lie being floated on our favorite show The Girls Next Door was in regards to Bridget Marquardt's age (33 our ass), it turns out it's actually about her...

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Weighty Issues: Anorexic Says That Fear Of Men -- Not Influence Of Fashion -- Is To Blame For Eating Disorder

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In The Independent today, a woman named Naomi Hooke writes about her battle with anorexia. "As London Fashion Week continues," she writes, "the controversy surrounding 'size zero' models is once...

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Snap Judgment: Ginger Spice's Baby Bluebell Gives Us Baby Blueballs

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[Heathrow, September 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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Ink Well: Have You Heard The Rumor About Tramp Stamps?

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Can a woman with a lower-back tattoo receive an epidural? In a word, yes. But somehow, year after year, the issue around ink and spinal injection keeps coming back. Today there's an article in The...

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Enjoy The View: Per today's "Hot Topics" on The View, we've ...

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Per today's "Hot Topics" on The View, we've learned that Sherri Shepherd believes in Jesus, thinks the world is flat, and would like to have sex with a pirate. That is all. [The View]

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Clips: 'The Hills' Have Eyes With Crow's Feet

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We're not sure if it's because they grew up in sunny, smoggy Southern California, but Lauren Conrad and Jason Wahler have some insane crow's...

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Snap Judgment: Britney's Sister Jamie Lynn: On Team Timberlake?

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[Los Angeles, September 17. Image via x17.]

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Part 1 Of 2: Red Lipstick Is Just Prettier: A Polemic Presented In Pictures

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Occasionally some journalism will pop randomly across my screen and give me a jolting reminder that I have not always been the person I am today, that my opinions about many critical life-altering...

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Schlock Crocs: The company behind Crocs is now marketing ...

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The company behind Crocs is now marketing a new shoe targeted specifically at the medical community. The medi-Crocs are missing the signature holes normally found on surface of the shoe, thus...

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Tit Chat: Breasts And Older Broads: Going, Going, Gone

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We're aware that our breasts will sag as we get older, but we didn't know that they'd deflate completely. But that's what apparently happens, as detailed in a funny piece on Salon written by...

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Snap Judgment: Katherine Heigl Uses Sidewalk Bulls-Eye For Smoking

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[West Hollywood, September 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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Oldies But Goodies: The Harvard Lampoon's Crazy-Eyed 'Cosmopolitan'

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[From 1972]

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On The Nose: Did Ryan Gosling--our favorite hottie who ...

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Did Ryan Gosling--our favorite hottie who ever hotted--get a nose job? If it's true, he has a great surgeon. (Click on tag for full-sized image.) [Good Plastic Surgery]

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Rag Trade: Friends Of 'Vogue': Too Emaciated And Weak To Hand-Carry Their Own Copies?

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Would you like a limited-edition carrying case with your ninety-pound September Vogue? Yeah, sorry, you only get one of you're an "FOV" -- which we think is sort of like being an "SOB." [The Fashion...

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