Jezebel Thursday, February 14, 2008
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"Will You Be Mine?" -- George Clooney [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356376/will-you-be-mine-++-george-clo…
[Image via Getty.]
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Scarlett Johansson Will Hold A Grudge [Dirt Bag]
jezebel.com/356403/scarlett-johansson-will-hold-a…
A reporter from Us magazine tried to interview Scarlett Johansson after her appearance on the Today show, but Scarlett was all, "You have got to be kidding me after that [plastic surgery] cover you...
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<i>Tyra</i>: Pageant Mom Insults Young Feminist's Love Of A Good Book [Clips]
jezebel.com/356246/tyra-pageant-mom-insults-young…
newVideoPlayer("tyrafeminist_jezebel.flv", 463, 387,"");Yesterday's Tyra was so good. After a first half that featured the crazies from The Bad Girls Club, she had on two sets of moms and daughters...
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Post-Flight Penelope Cruz Looks Perfect [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356206/post+flight-penelope-cruz-look…
[Madrid, Spain; February 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]
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Today was a monumental day in the history ... [Animal Magnetisms]
Today was a monumental day in the history of animals doing the nasty. For the first time ever, a photo has been taken of two gorillas engaging in "face-to-face" (not-so-fancy anthropologist-speak for...
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It Ain't Over Till Someone Messes With Texas... [News Roundup]
jezebel.com/356267/it-aint-over-till-someone-mess…
Bill Clinton's former campaign manager endorses Obama; thinks winning Ohio would "wrap up the nomination." [Baltimore Sun]
Tally: Obama 1,275 Clinton 1,220; Obama also wins the popular vote even if...
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Tally: Obama 1,275 Clinton 1,220; Obama also wins the popular vote even if...
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Those models on Deal or No Deal? They're ... [Trash TV]
Those models on Deal or No Deal? They're like totally more than just pretty faces. No, like seriously. Reports the New York TImes: "Stacey Gardner, the usual holder of suitcase No. 2, graduated...
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Nom Nom Ryan Reynolds [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356217/nom-nom-ryan-reynolds
[New York, NY; February 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]
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Dear Women: Dudes Are Repulsed By Your Huge Hooves [Clips]
jezebel.com/356175/dear-women-dudes-are-repulsed-…
newVideoPlayer("Today_Women_Big_Feet.flv", 463, 387,"");Hey, ladies! If you have big feet, asymmetrical features and little or no "hip sway," you're unattractive. (Yes, that means you, Paris Hilton)....
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Loose Lips []
Lily Allen can stick her entire fist in her mouth! This is gives new meaning to "loose lips." • Apparently the hospital in which J. Lo is planning to give birth is staging "pink drills" -- aka drills...
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Is Polyamory Not Such A Retarded Idea After All? [Ha-poly Ever After]
jezebel.com/356240/is-polyamory-not-such-a-retard…
So like, sometimes I want to tell you guys about a story that's, like, too nuanced and complex to distill into a cynical one-liner. And then I think "pageviews!" and just skip it. But what the hell:...
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So remember last week when MSNBC reporter ... [Semantic Squabbles]
So remember last week when MSNBC reporter David Shuster caused a Clinton ruckus by saying that Hillary was "pimping out" daughter Chelsea by bringing her on the campaign trail? Well, writer and...
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The <i>Cosby</i> Kids Reunite On <i>Oprah</i> [Clips]
jezebel.com/356213/the-cosby-kids-reunite-on-opra
newVideoPlayer("cosbykids_jezebel.flv", 463, 387,"");Oprah had a "retro party" on her show yesterday, and as part of that, she recreated the set of The Cosby Show and reunited the kids. (Except for...
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Gwyneth Breaks Out The Balenciaga In Bad Weather [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356157/gwyneth-breaks-out-the-balenci…
[New York, NY; February 12. Image via INFdaily.com]
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Will The Quit Smoking Pill Make Me More Psychotic Than Quitting Smoking? [Pillhead]
jezebel.com/356219/will-the-quit-smoking-pill-mak…
If you're one of those smokers who is actually looking to like, quit or whatever, you have probably heard of Chantix, or seen evidence of Pfizer's gazillion dollar marketing campaign for its new...
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Best Comment of the Day, in response to ...
Best Comment of the Day, in response to Hilary Stuff! Does Anyone Else Find Ankle Boots Annoying?: "My mom calls them "shooties." Which to me sounds like something you get from butterfish." We say:...
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'Wooden Soldier' Tortures Your WASPy Spawn With Horrifying, Anachronistic Duds [Today In Catalogs]
jezebel.com/356162/wooden-soldier-tortures-your-w…
I do not have children. I do not have nieces, nephews or little cousins. I only see kids when they cut in front of me at McDonald's. And yet, for some reason, I received a copy of The Wooden Soldier,...
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Crazy In Love [Crazy In Love]
jezebel.com/356145/crazy-in-love
A 23-year-old British woman named Lee Amor called her ex-boyfriend 10,783 times in two months, reports Telegraph. Amor (which means love!) sent a text, video or made a call every 8 minutes for 65...
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Martha Stewart Speaks Best In Show Beagle's Language [Clips]
jezebel.com/356166/martha-stewart-speaks-best-in-…
newVideoPlayer("Martha_Stewart_Dog.flv", 463, 387,"");Of the many reasons why I love Martha Stewart, her obsessive and fanatic love of animals is surely near the top of the list. Today she had on...
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Jesus-Loving Justin Timberlake Needs To Pray For Better Stylist [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356152/jesus+loving-justin-timberlake…
[Los Angeles, February 12. Image via Flynet]
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State Fires College Prez For Hosting Sex Worker Art Show That "Threatened The Commonwealth" [Virginia Is For Hookers]
jezebel.com/356171/state-fires-college-prez-for-h…
It goes without saying that the Jezebel platform on the Sex Workers Art Show is um, pro, namely bc sex workers almost always have this rare combination of intimate experience with a wide spectrum of...
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SJP Keeps James Wilke Under Wraps In Bad Weather [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356150/sjp-keeps-james-wilke-under-wr…
[New York, February 13. Image via INFDily.com.]
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What A Tangled InterWeb We Weave [Who's Your Daddy]
jezebel.com/356111/what-a-tangled-interweb-we-wea…
So this woman in Germany put herself in an online sex auction. Six different men won the contest, and had sex with her. Guess what? The chick is pregnant, and doesn't know who the father is. She...
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Mariah Carey's New Album <i>E=MC<sup>2</sup>&l-
t;/i> Takes Inspiration From Einstein [Mocking]
jezebel.com/356147/mariah-careys-new-album-emc2-t…
It was announced yesterday via her website that Mariah Carey's new album, the long awaited follow up to The Emancipation of Mimi -- due out April 15 -- will be called E=MC2 and, upon hearing the news...
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Did you know that women can make themselves ... [Mind Fucks]
Did you know that women can make themselves orgasm...just by thinking about dirty thoughts? Well you can, and dudes cannot! Sucks to be them! A brain scientist recently "measured autonomic and brain...
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Jewel: "Does The Dog Go Into The Airport X-Ray?" [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356137/jewel-does-the-dog-go-into-the…
[Los Angeles, February 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin]
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If You Worked At Home, You'd Be Wearing Pajamas Too [Fashion Victims]
jezebel.com/356058/if-you-worked-at-home-youd-be-…
Today's Women's Wear Daily asks the legitimately thought-provoking question: Just who do women dress for? Now, since I work from home, I dress for no one, meaning I am regularly clad in orange...
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Ridin' Flirty [Cars]
jezebel.com/356104/ridin-flirty
Friday morning, Nick Lachey will unveil a tiny, bejeweled car to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Hot Wheels. The 18-karat white gold "toy" features more than 2,600 diamonds, and it will be...
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Can Female Vegetarians And Male Carnivores Ever Find True Foodie Love? [Domestic Disturbances]
jezebel.com/356072/can-female-vegetarians-and-mal…
"Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans... are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit." Ha! That's Anthony Bourdain in the best-selling memoir Kitchen...
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Ashford & Simpson's Travel Hair Is Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356039/ashford--simpsons-travel-hair-…
[Los Angeles, February 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]
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Thank You, Mia Farrow, For Ruining Steven Spielberg's Olympics [Appreciation]
jezebel.com/356101/thank-you-mia-farrow-for-ruini…
It hasn't gotten quite the press of, say, Scarlett Johnasson's phone banking for Obama, but Mia Farrow has exploited every waning ounce of her celebrity reminding the press freedom-enjoying community...
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Mandy Moore Still Can't Believe How Lucky She Is Not To Be Dating Zach Braff [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356060/mandy-moore-still-cant-believe…
[February 12, Los Angeles. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.]
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This Week In Tabloids: Britney's Secret Wedding, Angelina's Crazy Trip [Midweek Madness]
jezebel.com/356064/this-week-in-tabloids-britneys…
Every Wednesday, we do Midweek Madness, the game in which we weather the storm of celebrity tabloids, looking for a ray of sunshine...or at least a good bit of gossip. This week, Britney Spears and...
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Sexual Chocolate [Vaginas]
jezebel.com/356065/sexual-chocolate
Stuck on something to hand out Valentine's Day? How about some Sweet Pussy? The chocolate lollipop vaginas come (heh heh) in batches of a dozen, which gives you plenty of practice pops to see how...
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Lauren Conrad Collection: Ugly, Overpriced, Simply Outrageous [Fashion Show]
jezebel.com/356001/lauren-conrad-collection-ugly-…
Once again, Lauren Conrad "triumphs" over Heidi Montag. While Heidi's "working" in fashion as the "face" of Anchor Blue (for the more "mature" slutty tween!), Lauren is actually "designing" her own...
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Milla Jovovich Double-Fists Starbucks, Baby [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/355982/milla-jovovich-double+fists-st…
[Los Angeles, February 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin]
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<i>Bad Girls</i> "Boot" Tyra Banks Off Own Show [Clips]
jezebel.com/356019/bad-girls-boot-tyra-banks-off-…
newVideoPlayer("tyrabadgirls_jezebel.flv", 463, 387,"");The members of Oxygen's reality show The Bad Girls Club were on Tyra yesterday, and their bickering pissed off TyTy so much that she got up...
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Hilary <i>Stuff</i>! Does Anyone Else Find Ankle Boots Annoying? [Snap Judgment]
jezebel.com/356049/hilary-stuff-does-anyone-else-…
[Los Angeles, February 12. Photo via X17.]
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Having sushi for lunch? You might want to ... [Anal Leakage]
Having sushi for lunch? You might want to stay away from anything containing butterfish, or as it's called in sushi restaurants, king tuna or super white tuna, because it may cause you to shit...
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"I Am A Law School Girl (Snatch, Gunch, Clam, Whisker Biscuit -- Pick Your Subject Synonym)..." [Manifestos]
jezebel.com/356041/i-am-a-law-school-girl-snatch-…
"This accounts for some 80% of the gunch at law school," claims a University of Florida law student who goes by the name of Benjamin Straight, before cutting and pasting a charming essay he's...
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An Australian politician is cautioning women ... [Chunder Down Under]
An Australian politician is cautioning women against the dangers of sexy t-shirt slogans. Independent MP Bob Such told the state parliament during a discussion on rape reform legislation, "Some of...
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