Jezebel Saturday, September 29, 2007

End Of Week: We Are Really Glad It's Friday

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We think your boobies are beautiful just the way they are.

And your anorexia too?

We need a nap.

We love the smell of vulva in the morning.

We contemplate whether denying the existence of...

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And The Pink Slip Goes To: This commenter, who ought to be laid off ...

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This commenter, who ought to be laid off from her actual job for crafting shit like this at work: "You know, AW, I don't hate you because you're a bitch or because you reek of elitism--even through a...

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Snap Judgment: This Picture of Posh Spice Makes Us Sad

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[Paris, September 28. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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The Lady Bunch: Tyra Banks Holds In Her Farts Around Her Boyfriends

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newVideoPlayer("ladybunch21.flv", 475, 376);

Life is pretty awesome now that all the shows are back. And even though I'm fighting with Tyra right now (in my mind, anyway) I still find her to be the...

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Wtf: There's a new strapless bra called Faveo ...

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There's a new strapless bra called Faveo Freedom and it's probably the most retarded undergarment we've ever seen in our entire lives. The fucked up thing about it is that it was actually invented by...

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Fashion Victims: Chanel Iman's Mom: Look But Don't Touch

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We had longed wondered what kind of woman names her daughter Chanel Iman. One named China Robinson, clearly. And what does China say about birthing one of the top models of the season? "I'm...

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Snap Judgment: Mary Louise Parker, Adopted African Daughter

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[New York, September 26. Image via INF]

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Vulva Monologues: A Gay Man Spends A Week Sniffing Vagina -- And Finds It 'Hard' Not To Like!

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Meet Ryan, the Official Jezebel gay. (Pic after the hump!) Last week he came up to New York after three grueling days of shooting Trading Spaces, and because he's such a devoted friend he volunteered...

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Cheating Hearts: There's yet another social networking site ...

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There's yet another social networking site that targets a specific demographic, and it's pissing off people in L.A. because of a billboard advertisement it put up in West Hollywood, encouraging...

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Everybody's Doing It: Slate's Sex Issue: Incest, Big Butts, Vibrators & Elder Sex

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Slate, that bastion of current events and culture, tackles all the horny topics one could think of in their Sex Issue this week and thanks to the online magazine's editors and writers, we've learned...

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Sponsors: Our Sponsors Are Hotter Than Ahmadinejad

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And they learned us how to type his name real fast this week! We're channeling our very best karma this week to Annie Lennox, Crown Publishing, Dirty Sexy Money, Garnier, Dexter, and especially The...

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Snap Judgment: Keanu Reeves, In Case You Care

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[Los Angeles, September 27. Image via Flynet]

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On The Nose: Did Pepa From Salt-N-Pepa Get A Nose Job?

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We're really psyched about the premiere of The Salt-N-Pepa Show coming up in two weeks on VH1. It should be interesting since Salt (Cheryl) and Pepa (Sandy) had a falling out -- due largely in part...

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The Abridged Shelasky: OMG SHE'S BACK. With a "fierce lotus" tattoo ...

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OMG SHE'S BACK. With a "fierce lotus" tattoo and a new job writing about all the important world affairs, this time at People! No shelacker she, she's also been cutting it up on the man scene and...

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Broadsides: Every Little Girl Dreams Of Dressing Like Paris Hilton

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Shopping.com took a poll and the most popular pop-culture costume idea was a Jail-Bird Paris Hilton. Seriously, if a trick or treater comes to our door in an orange jumpsuit and a blond wig holding a...

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Snap Judgment: Jessica Alba Takes Newly-Painted Toes Out For Test Drive

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[Santa Monica, September 28. Image via x17]

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Clips: Sampling The Shenis, Or How Women Can Pee On Two Feet

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newVideoPlayer("shenis.flv", 475, 376);The Shenis (yes, sounds like "penis"!) is a hollowed out, 12-inch long fake penis intended for women to use as a tool to pee while standing up. As its creator...

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Snap Judgment: Rumer Willis' Unfortunate Dye-Job

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[Beverly Hills, CA; Sept. 27. Image via INF.]

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Deluded Stepmothers: That 'Vogue' Writer With The "Son" In The Army? It's Actually Her Boyfriend's Son, Explains Actual Mom

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Remember "Solider In The Family: Confronting A Son's Decision To Enlist"? The Vogue cover piece by that lady who learns the hard way that some people are in Iraq not because they are aggro rednecks...

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Snap Judgment: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: Wide-Eyed And Open-Mouthed At The Toy Store

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(Click on any picture to see entire gallery)

galleryPost('angelinashilohtoystore092807', 4,' ');[New York, September 28. Images via INF]

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Geek Chic: Tech Geeks, Hot Model Create Sidewalk Bra & Panty Parade

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Model Elle MacPherson is apparently a tech geek. The Aussie native and lingerie entrepreneur has launched some sort of newfangled storefront in New York that allows passersby on the street to...

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Get Bent: From the "shit about aging no one tells you" ...

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From the "shit about aging no one tells you" database: Men's penises can become crooked as they get older. Peyronie's disease -- also known as "partial penile disassembly" -- is a condition that...

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Crap Email From A Dude: "To Me, There Was A Certain Protocol That Was Lacking"

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"John" met "Cameron" at a bar. They talked. She was intrigued. They kept seeing each other. Sometimes multiple times in the same night! Because they're both drunks that go on benders and they kept...

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Snap Judgment: Britney Spears Accessorizes Skull & Bones Belt With Strange Hand

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[Newport Beach, Calif; September 27. Image via x17]

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Tyra Banks: How A Barack Obama-Less Tyra Banks Broke My Heart

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Yesterday I got to realize one of my dreams: I sat in the studio audience for a taping of Tyra. Jezebels Moe, Jennifer and I thought we were attending TyTy's big deal Barack Obama interview, but when...

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Nuclear Wintour: It seems like Vogue editor Anna Wintour is ...

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It seems like Vogue editor Anna Wintour is adding something else to her regime other than a new underling: A little collagen! If you have more info on her Goldie Hawn-esque transformation please...

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The DA Wears Prada: Italy Orders Stilettos For Lady Cops. <i>And It Gets So Much More Ridiculous!</i>

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Today I received a story about Italy from my brother, who works at the German Embassy. The message: "Could this country get any less serious?" And reflexively I was like, "yeah, Mussolini may have...

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Snap Judgment: Rehabber Lindsay Lohan Prefers Pedicure Lounger Set To "High"

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[Sundance, Utah; September 27. Image via x17]

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Runway Report: Gucci Sucks, Marni Full Of "Sad Sacks": The Critics Speak

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As Milan winds down, some of our favorite fashion critics [Ou est tu, Robin Givhan?] waxed not-so-poetic on what they've seen over the past few days. Gucci was universally slammed. Marni,...

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Paternalistic Pigs: Every time some stupid guy (or clueless woman) ...

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Every time some stupid guy (or clueless woman) tells us that there isn't a need for "feminism" anymore because sexism doesn't exist, we will point them to the following waste of RAM on the Daily...

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Snap Judgment: Hilary Duff, Label Whore

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[LAX, September 27. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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Polls: Women Are Tired, Says Study; We Say "No Shit"

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Wonder why women are so much unhappier than men? Well we're getting less sleep than ever, and it's making us fat because of all the crap we eat when the caffeine wears off, and if we think our...

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Paws Off: A serious shoe fetishist pleaded guilty on ...

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A serious shoe fetishist pleaded guilty on Thursday to stealing over 1,500 pairs of girls shoes from school lockers in Wisconsin. Apparently he's a cable guy who collected keys to various schools as...

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Snap Judgment: Kirsten Dunst: Scratching Her Hump Or Secretly Handcuffed?

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[Beverly Hills, September 27. Image via Flynet]

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Clips: Angelina Jolie Gets Teary, 'NY Times' Staffer Gets Blinky

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newVideoPlayer("angelinatalk.flv", 475, 376);

Yesterday, Angelina Jolie appeared at the Clinton Global Initiative alongside NY Times columnist Nicholas Kristof (he blinks a lot!) and teared up while...

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Maghag: A tipster writes in to tell us that Vogue ...

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A tipster writes in to tell us that Vogue editor Anna Wintour may be looking for a new assistant. Might we suggest a young woman of African-American descent? Yeah, Anna's got Andre, but the Vogue...

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Snap Judgment: Dear Sienna: The Weather In London Yesterday Was 57 Degrees And Sunny

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[London, September 27. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

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Rag Trade: Angelina Jolie & St. John: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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Angelina and St. John calling off their collaboration? The word on the street is that the rich folk knitwear company is going to be ending the Mother Teresa Of Hollywood's contract as the face of...

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On The Nose: Good news for Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss, etc.: ...

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Good news for Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss, etc.: British plastic surgeons have developed a way to fix "cocaine nose," which is basically the disintegration of the septum due to excessive drug-snorting....

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Snap Judgment: Drew Barrymore Dines With New Mac <i>(Groan)</i> Daddy, Justin Long

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[Hollywood, September 26. Image via x17]

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Dirt Bag: Mariah Carey's Not-So-Private Bathroom Break

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At VH1's Music Cares event, Mariah Carey's bodyguards busted into the ladies room and demanded everyone leave, but when one patron refused they told her, "You'd better not watch Mariah pee!" Umm,...

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