Harry Potter Endings I'd like to see

Through a series of posthumous interviews, it is revealed that "Voldemort" was the name of Harry's childhood sled.

Voldemort is a figment of Harry's imagination. Harry's been beating himself up the whole time, and Harry killed Cedric Diggory.

"The first rule about Dumbledore's Army is... you don't talk about Dumbledore's Army."

Harry wakes up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette and mumbles "Honey, you won't believe the dream I just had."

Harry is autistic and Hogwarts is in a snow globe in the cabinet under the stairs.

The boat sinks. Harry dies. Hermione lives to be 95 and throws the diamond in the ocean.

Harry, Hermione and Ron are sitting in the Three Broomsticks while the Wyrd Sisters play a cover of "Don't Stop the Quidditch" in the background. One by one Arthur Weasley, Ginny, Remus Lupin, and Neville enter and sit down. Enter a shady-looking wizard who has that "death-eater" look about him. Close-up on Harry. The scene stops halfway through the chorus. Quick cut to black.

Harry and Ron move to New Jersey and work dead-end retail jobs. Ron won't shut up about Hermione. Hagrid and Neville harass passers-by and sell potions outside the store.

"Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father."
"He told me enough! He told me YOU killed him!"
"No, Harry. *I* am your father!"
"No. It can't be. That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Search your feelings, Harry... you know them to be true."
"NOOOOOOOOOoooooooOO!

Harry and Ginny get married, and shortly after Ginny gets pregnant. Coincidentally, Mrs. Weasley also gets pregnant again, and mom and daughter go through pregnancy together, both going into labor while Harry is off fighting Voldemort (again), where we end with Mr. Weasley in the St. Mungo's maternity ward holding both his new daughter and grandson.